Next Time – Having a second baby

Little Z will be turning 2 in December and we are now starting to mull over whether it is “the right time” to have another baby. The answers lie on a very extreme spectrum of “Yes yes it is!” all the way to “No no its not!”.

There are plenty of things we are working through in our heads. Or, rather, things I am pestering the OH about. How will we balance two? Will we manage? What if it’s really hard? What about work? And sleep? And childcare? And sleep? Do we need a bigger house? And what about sleep?

What I DO know is that the second time is slightly easier in some respects because of the experience with the first. I know this because someone on Twitter said so and this is now my 2nd baby mantra. When the time comes I mean.

So, in keeping with my 2nd baby mantra, one day, in the future, these are the things will make it easier next time around:

Next time I know that labour may be long. Very very very long. I hope it won’t be though!

Next time I will use the buzz thingie on my TENs machine a lot more. I may just keep it on buzz throughout.

Next Time I will know how to change a nappy and give baby it’s first bath. I won’t hover behind the care assistant nervously. I also won’t be shocked at what meconium looks like.

Next Time I know the baby won’t sleep through at 6 weeks old. In fact, the baby will probably not sleep through for an entire year and I try not to obsess about it. I will be strong enough to tell interfering parenting police to sod off (sort off. Mostly!). I may even duck and hide of the parenting police come round to visit. Obviously I need to train Little Z to do this too.

Next Time I will fill my freezers with meals and save myself panicking about “what will we eat?!!!” post baby for the first few weeks

Next Time I will not stress that I am feeding baby all wrong.

Next Time I won’t panic every time the baby cries.

Next Time I will try not to obsess with getting baby “into a routine”. Little Z eventually fell into one and it was all fine in the end. I know now it takes a good few weeks before things settle into the new normal.

Next Time I won’t force myself to baby groups if I don’t feel like going. I think I might prefer to get through even more box sets during those first few weeks.

Next Time things will be a bit easier.

9 Comments

  1. lucy at dear beautiful October 29, 2012 / 10:40 pm

    It really will be easier! Caring for a newborn isn’t unfamiliar and it makes it far easier to actually enjoy those early days. Plus you know how quickly it all passes so are more chilled about things too. X

  2. Susan Mann (@susankmann) October 29, 2012 / 10:43 pm

    I think you could send forever debating this. There is never a right time, if you want another child I say go for it and hopefully it happens sooner rather than later. There is never a perfect time. It’s just fate. x

  3. @mrswalmsleywoo October 30, 2012 / 8:05 am

    Second time has been a million times easier, it has helped that dd2 is a totally relaxed baby compared. Yes it’s knackering, yes some days sleep was minimal, but to look at the love between our two girls I’m so glad we have them both. Two is enough for me, I totally need a lie in!

  4. Anya from Older Single Mum October 30, 2012 / 1:42 pm

    It is harder the first time as you are becoming a parent.The next time(s) it is easier because you are already a parent.I would always say to go for it asap coz you don’t want to end up like me, having them in your forties. Best of British trying ;))

  5. Older Mum (@Older_Mum) October 30, 2012 / 5:04 pm

    There’s no right time really I don’t think, although its quite nice, if you can, to have an age difference of 3-4 years between siblings, as by that age the first born has a stronger sense of itself and probably won’t suffer from as much jealousy

  6. Katie @mummydaddyme October 30, 2012 / 9:17 pm

    I was so nervous the first time around, I didn’t change her nappy for 2 days, Mr E was far more natural than me. This time I am looking forward to being less scared of my little newborn! x

  7. bluebirdsunshine November 1, 2012 / 6:11 pm

    I have to add, ‘Next Time will be just as amazing as the first time round’. I was surprised that even though I’d done it all before it was still just as incredible – the good and the bad.

  8. Mum2BabyInsomniac November 1, 2012 / 8:53 pm

    I definitely think I will be so much more relaxed this time. I was so scared and clueless the first time and worried about everything but it will just be so normal second time round, I hope so anyway! x

  9. TheBoyandMe November 6, 2012 / 12:21 am

    And I’m with you every step of the way on this one.

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