Many moons ago when I was young and carefree I was a complete expert at living in a bubble and sitting on the fence. (and no it didn’t hurt my arse one bit). I was pretty much like sponge bob square pants, or his loyal friend Patrick. They’re both as empty headed and glazed eyed as each other really aren’t they? It wasn’t that I didn’t have an opinion. But life was simpler. The most important decisions were about where we were going to go to eat or what we should do that particular Saturday night. And to be honest, as long as I was in good company I wasn’t bothered one bit. I was quite happy to go with the flow and follow the crowd. After all, it would always be a good night, a late finish and a brilliant lie in the next day and that’s all that really mattered.
Then something changed. And I really only noticed it when I had Little Z.
Whereas I was completely, almost horizontal, laid back before I suddenly became a lot more aware. More protective of me and mine (Or Little Z really). Suddenly, a group of a particular type of people emerged; the parenting police. And I found myself having to become firm in a world where I wasn’t used to conflict. It took me a while. I started off usually reacting by bawling to the OH about “how people are SO MEAN!”. My journey to becoming more “GRRR!” transitioned to a somewhat aggressive mother tigress ready to get her claws out on anyone that was going to pick on my baby. Admittedly I had to reign that in somewhat but I realised that becoming a mother unleashes a motherly rage that is ready to pounce on anyone that could harm your child.
I also found I was slightly more aware of my surroundings. It still took me a while but where previously I would think that everyone was “really nice” I realised that, actually, that horrible person had been flying around on their broomstick all this time. So began a kind of re-evaluation and no longer seeing the not so nice folk so much.
So far so good, right? Life is good and balanced and I have enough courage to say “you are mean!” without bawling or having a quivering bottom lip…to someone’s face. Bravery!
But here’s the thing….
What if, over time you just become more blunt and more opinionated about everything? What if you find that bubble just keeps deflating and you eventually leave it behind. Transforming you from a happy go lucky Sponge-Bob into a type of Victor Meldrew / Nan Taylor (from the Catherin Tate show?).
What if you just become more and more bitter and cynical over time. Slowly becoming a moaning Minnie about everything. You see those bitter twisted women don’t you? They have a cynical opinion about everything and everyone. Nothing is good in life. Everyone is out to get you. Sitting on their rocking chair (or recliner)….spouting hate about the world. With husbands that are too scared to say anything so they just read the paper and say “yes dear”.
And then before you know it, you’ve turned into a batty evil Mother in law and your son no longer comes to visit because your evil witch daughter in law has turned him against you.
Excuse me whilst I try to plug the hole in my bubble.