Bursting the Bubble

Many moons ago when I was young and carefree I was a complete expert at living in a bubble and sitting on the fence. (and no it didn’t hurt my arse one bit). I was pretty much like sponge bob square pants, or his loyal friend Patrick. They’re both as empty headed and glazed eyed as each other really aren’t they? It wasn’t that I didn’t have an opinion. But life was simpler. The most important decisions were about where we were going to go to eat or what we should do that particular Saturday night. And to be honest, as long as I was in good company I wasn’t bothered one bit. I was quite happy to go with the flow and follow the crowd. After all, it would always be a good night, a late finish and a brilliant lie in the next day and that’s all that really mattered.

Then something changed. And I really only noticed it when I had Little Z.

Whereas I was completely, almost horizontal, laid back before I suddenly became a lot more aware. More protective of me and mine (Or Little Z really). Suddenly, a group of a particular type of people emerged; the parenting police. And I found myself having to become firm in a world where I wasn’t used to conflict. It took me a while. I started off usually reacting by bawling to the OH about “how people are SO MEAN!”. My journey to becoming more “GRRR!” transitioned to a somewhat aggressive mother tigress ready to get her claws out on anyone that was going to pick on my baby. Admittedly I had to reign that in somewhat but I realised that becoming a mother unleashes a motherly rage that is ready to pounce on anyone that could harm your child.

I also found I was slightly more aware of my surroundings. It still took me a while but where previously I would think that everyone was “really nice” I realised that, actually, that horrible person had been flying around on their broomstick all this time. So began a kind of re-evaluation and no longer seeing the not so nice folk so much.

So far so good, right? Life is good and balanced and I have enough courage to say “you are mean!” without bawling or having a quivering bottom lip…to someone’s face. Bravery!

But here’s the thing….

What if, over time you just become more blunt and more opinionated about everything? What if you find that bubble just keeps deflating and you eventually leave it behind. Transforming you from a happy go lucky Sponge-Bob into a type of Victor Meldrew / Nan Taylor (from the Catherin Tate show?).

What if you just become more and more bitter and cynical over time. Slowly becoming a moaning Minnie about everything. You see those bitter twisted women don’t you? They have a cynical opinion about everything and everyone. Nothing is good in life. Everyone is out to get you. Sitting on their rocking chair (or recliner)….spouting hate about the world. With husbands that are too scared to say anything so they just read the paper and say “yes dear”.

And then before you know it, you’ve turned into a batty evil Mother in law and your son no longer comes to visit because your evil witch daughter in law has turned him against you.

Hmmm…

Excuse me whilst I try to plug the hole in my bubble.

Bubble

MummyBarrow

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25 Comments

  1. littleeandbean March 8, 2013 / 12:35 pm

    I can so relate to this! I definitely feel like I’ve become more cynical with age and I struggle a bit with that because I liked my rose tinted glasses! I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a healthy thing. I was such a dreamer and like you I saw the best in everyone. I think that’s fine pre parenthood because its only us that gets hurt by our naivety but becoming parents means acknowledging that some people can be pretty awful & guarding our children against them. I think the fact that you’re concerned about becoming too cynical means it won’t happen…this is my theory anyway and I’m sticking to it 😉 x

    • Notmyyearoff March 12, 2013 / 10:14 pm

      I think you’re right. It’s age coupled with wanting to protect your children fiercely isn’t it? Hopefully we will remain well balanced individuals (and glamorous of course!) as we get older.

  2. Menai March 8, 2013 / 12:48 pm

    Oh blimey – apart from transposing son/daughter-in-law to driving my 2 daughters away this is exactly, perfectly what I feel too – bravo!

    • Notmyyearoff March 12, 2013 / 10:16 pm

      Haha I think my imagination ran away with me with the daughter in law thing (I think!)

  3. Brinabird and Son March 8, 2013 / 1:16 pm

    That is a great rant! I am hoping that popping this bubble is something natural that happens to every mum as I am certainly a lot more bothered about things that I used to be. I guess maybe I should try and reign it in sometimes (I think hubby thinks so anyway :))

    • Notmyyearoff March 12, 2013 / 10:17 pm

      Hehe I definitely went through a phase where I had to reign it in a bit. I think it tends to escape every now and again.

  4. Mummy Barrow March 8, 2013 / 2:04 pm

    awww I dont know about that. I think there is a certain amount of just caring more and that is why we get “ranty”.

    But great post.

    • Notmyyearoff March 12, 2013 / 10:19 pm

      I definitely do find that I’m a lot more conscious of things around me and want it to be a better world. I think a lot of it is related to that x

  5. farfromhomemama March 8, 2013 / 2:46 pm

    I’m a bit the opposite. The nicer people are, the more suspicious I am about them (probably unfairly so). But I’ve actually become less opinionated with age. Now, unless I feel particularly passionate about something, I just sit back and let it happen.

    • Notmyyearoff March 13, 2013 / 8:34 am

      I’m the same with going out – I’m just not bothered what we do as long as its a good time! 🙂

  6. Chelseamamma March 8, 2013 / 3:16 pm

    So agree with you – I used to be laid back I was horizontal but now I feel like I moan about everything – if you have a spare plug, send it over!! Ta muchly!!

    • Notmyyearoff March 13, 2013 / 8:34 am

      Haha – *passes shiny bubble and plug*

  7. older mum in a muddle March 8, 2013 / 7:35 pm

    Great post. Gosh – I can be very opinionated …. and I do wonder if it’s an age thing, and I’m more grumpy – I could do with a major chill pill and viewing the world from my daughter’s eyes!

    • Notmyyearoff March 13, 2013 / 8:35 am

      I’d love to see the world from Little Z’s eyes. It would be filled with pasta, milk and the Muppets!

  8. Verily, Victoria Vocalises March 8, 2013 / 11:16 pm

    Hear hear! I have to say that with age – as well as motherdom – I have become more confident with saying what I think and caring less about what others think of me. If they don’t like who I am they can sod off!! 🙂

  9. Erica Price March 9, 2013 / 7:03 am

    I think it is a bit of a getting older trait, but I don’t think you’ll be turning into one of those armchair, grumpy old bags. 🙂

    • Notmyyearoff March 13, 2013 / 8:36 am

      I’m hoping to be a Joan Collins type in the armchair rather than Nan Taylor from Catherine Tate 🙂

  10. MummyNeverSleeps March 9, 2013 / 7:52 am

    I totally agree with you, in my life BB (before Bean) I was waaaaaay too self-involved to care if such and such wasn’t a very nice person, or if that park was a mess or if that group of friends had a bad atmosphere about them. I don’t think it’s necessarily that we’re getting grumpier, I think we just want better and care more. We might have put up with that nasty aunt but do you really want to expose your children to her if you can easily avoid it? Brilliant post missus, very thought-provoking 🙂

    • Notmyyearoff March 13, 2013 / 8:38 am

      OOh you sum it up very well – this is EXACTLY what is it I think!

  11. Charlotte March 9, 2013 / 9:11 am

    I often wondered if everyone else was becoming more annoying but I am pretty sure I am becoming less tolerant. Oops! :0) x

    • Notmyyearoff March 13, 2013 / 8:38 am

      No no – everyone else is becoming more annoying 😉

  12. Pinkoddy March 10, 2013 / 9:59 am

    I felt I’ve not been in a bubble but don’t think I’m whiny grouchy about everything – I hope.
    Great post.

    • Notmyyearoff March 13, 2013 / 8:39 am

      You always sound really well balanced to me – I’ll check at Britmums 😉

  13. r4i gold March 25, 2013 / 5:18 am

    I really enjoy the blog.Much thanks again. Great.

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