Dear George Osborne – How To Use Twitter and Be Trendy Too!

Dear George Osborne,

You don’t know me. Obviously. But I saw some of the “highlights” of the budget and I admit, I’m not that savvy when it comes to the economy. Or the budget really. But, even with my “budget thicko” hat on I was expecting to hear one particular thing and was a bit disappointed that you kind of mentioned them in passing. And that’s the tax avoidance thing. You mentioned you have plans to crack down on it over the next 5 years.

WOW…really?

Now, correct me if I’m wrong but does this mean its not really been cracked already? It kind of feels that way! That’s what “plan” means, right?

Over 5 years? That could be AGES away, right? Isn’t our country in trouble right now?

I know these things take time to implement but when we have a big gaping hole in our numbers where the growth should be then surely these things should be done a lot quicker.

Like within the next 2 years?

Or even within the next year?

I know it sounds a bit over simplified but, to me, if the country is in trouble and we have these major international corporations avoiding tax then maybe we should start Right now! And not plan to “bring it in” over the next 5 years.

And then work our way down? What do you think? I’m pretty sure just naming and shaming them isn’t really going to work that well seeing as that could involve most, if not all, of the major accountancy firms?

Sitting here, I can think of at least 10 companies you could start with. I can give you those names if you like?

I’ve seen you’ve ventured into Twitter. I’m a bit of an addict . I have been since Little Z was born. He was a bit of a night owl during the first few months of his life and I used it to keep myself entertained (And awake!). Apparently you’re new to it too and if you’ve not used it before it can take a bit of time to get used to. I’m warning you though. It’s highly addictive. Once you start using it you’ll probably not look up again. I think your mate Dave knows how to use it. You could ask him? Or maybe Ed will show you after a beer or 2? (You’ll save 2p you know!)

Anyhoo…here’s my Twitter tip for you…

You know those big corporations that are avoiding tax? I might be wrong but its possible that they are really really hard to get hold of because I can’t think of why else it would take SO long to pin them down and sort out their tax avoidance. Well……you could tweet them directly. From your own account! Of course you could use the old fashioned telephone too but that is obviously so last year. Twitter is the here and now. Don’t let Ed be the only “trendy” one.

You could start all sorts of twitter parties too.

#PayYourTax could be one?

People love jumping on Twitter party bandwagons and you’ll probably be top trender for a long time. It may even make you more popular. Sounds good now doesn’t it?

Once you’ve established contact and found someone, maybe the CEO of each company, you could pretty much get them all in a room with the HMRC and get their tax codes corrected from “Pay what we feel like” To “XXXXL” or whatever is the correct code to have. And (If I were a betting woman) I would bet you my house that those little lines on your “deficit” graphs would start to go the right way quite quickly!

Once you’ve done that you could go onto tackling those very rich individuals that are doing similar things. Just to help you along, I think some are probably within the entertainment industry and others milling around somewhere close by. Same kind of thing. Get them into a room with a good accountant and the HMRC and get their tax codes corrected. If you’ve got a clever Personal Assistant he/she could just book them all into your diary back to back and you could do it all within a few months?

Obviously the HMRC would need to get a shifty on too. Obviously.

You could then sit there playing twitter hashtag showdown with Ed Milliband with something about how you’re now an “#upgradedchancellor”. No? Just a thought.

Kind regards,
Me

P.S I know you’ve been reeaally busy with doing the sums of the budget and everything but a bank just gave 9 of its top bosses £40m in shares today. That’s a lot for “talent” that is losing money, isn’t it? Maybe add them to your list of people you need to tweet?

Dear George Osborne

MummyBarrow

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31 Comments

  1. playspotter March 20, 2013 / 9:22 pm

    Hee hee, love it!

  2. Sonia Cisco March 21, 2013 / 6:54 am

    I LIVE this post! *pops it in my pocket for next politics round-up*

  3. Sonia Cisco March 21, 2013 / 6:54 am

    Love I mean, honestly, half asleep commenting on a mobile should be banned,

  4. Nikki Thomas March 21, 2013 / 6:59 am

    Brilliant, absolutely brilliant!

  5. Mum2BabyInsomniac March 21, 2013 / 7:20 am

    Haha! Brilliant! X

  6. Lynn March 21, 2013 / 7:43 am

    Great post. I’ll vote for you.

  7. Mrs Teepot March 21, 2013 / 9:34 am

    Absolutely excellent plan! I hope George sees it and implements it immediately.

  8. Misty March 21, 2013 / 2:44 pm

    This is bloody fantastic! This needs to be tweeted to mr Osborne immediately!

  9. KC @ genxfinance March 21, 2013 / 3:20 pm

    That’s a great idea! But errr, not sure if I can do that.. lol

  10. older mum in a muddle March 21, 2013 / 4:38 pm

    I love this post! Really made me LOL on the floor! George should see this! BTW I am moving over all my blog reading to bloglovin.

  11. Helen March 21, 2013 / 11:05 pm

    Can’t wait to see his reply! 😉

  12. Mummy of Two March 22, 2013 / 10:26 am

    Ha Ha Great idea lets hope he’s reading! #PoCoLo

  13. Karen March 22, 2013 / 10:35 am

    I LOVE this post! I think I may even go fine George, follow him and Tweet him this!
    Why aren’t you running the economy, I reckon you’d do a far better job than some of the nitwits currently running the show!

  14. Amummymuses March 22, 2013 / 11:37 am

    Great post.

    I mentioned him in my list as wl.

    This is a guaranteed way to get revenue so o too wonder why they won’t track this dumb a88 companies down instead of picking on the poor.

  15. Verily, Victoria Vocalises March 22, 2013 / 12:05 pm

    You have some great ideas here lovely, a place for you in the cabinet next?! 🙂 Thank you so much for linking up and spreading #pocolo xx

  16. WallyMummy March 22, 2013 / 12:10 pm

    OMG this is BRILLIANT. I love it! You should so go into politics 😉 I’ll vote for you :))) x

  17. Jaime Oliver March 22, 2013 / 1:32 pm

    Fantastic post!! and i totally agree … you tell em!

  18. sarah March 22, 2013 / 3:41 pm

    amen sistah!!!

  19. Emma T March 22, 2013 / 8:37 pm

    Brilliant, and so true. you never know, his PR people might have picked up on this!

  20. Troubles mum March 22, 2013 / 8:50 pm

    Great ideas! Sadly it won’t happen because a) it’s common sense and b) George Osborne is not allowed near ICT in case he does something stupid like put a decimal point in the wrong place when recommending the interest rate, or accidentally declare war on Russia. We leave that sort of shit to Vince Cable and his trusty yellows. Tas for PM!

  21. Rachel March 23, 2013 / 2:37 am

    Any way you could tweet him these suggestions?

  22. Erica Price March 23, 2013 / 7:11 am

    He really could do with reading this and putting it into action.

  23. Late For Reality March 23, 2013 / 10:52 am

    Great blog 🙂 can anyone get this actually sent to George? 😀

  24. Maria @ Feisty Tapas March 23, 2013 / 4:24 pm

    Brilliant! And so true, unfortunately common down-to-earth sense doesn’t prevail among politicians

  25. Nichola Fabfortymum March 23, 2013 / 10:55 pm

    haha this is brilliant. I’m not sure George can read though (he sure as hell can’t count or do logic) hopefully one of his staff will read it aloud for him or dictate it onto audio book.

  26. eehbahmum April 15, 2013 / 6:50 am

    Fantastic funny post and clever too. Certainly fired me up on a Monday morning. Put me down as a campaign volunteer when you start your political career.

  27. Rhian @melbs April 19, 2013 / 5:10 am

    Ha Brilliant.
    Perhaps you could be Chancellor instead, you’ve got more common sense than all of them put together. x

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