Eating Out

Eating out with Little Z can always be a hit and miss experience. There are times when he is an angel child making us feel very smug at our well behaved infant, whilst others we would like nothing better than to dart out of a restaurant with our heads down, shades on and hoods up so that no-one actually sees what we look like; screaming toddler securely clamped under one arm.

Obviously that would be weird. We are not celebrities and having a hood on indoors would just make us look slightly scary and ASBO-ish.


On our most recent family outing Little Z amused us by demonstrating his latest social skills.

Some of the most memorable were…

– How he was transfixed by the waitress taking our order. As soon as she finished he shouted for her to do it “again again!”. She laughed slightly nervously and shuffled off quickly. Little Z shouted after her till he realised she wasn’t coming back.

– Asking for a lolly when he spotted the little girl on the next table had one. (Dear restaurants, lollies scare the hell out of me. I always have scary visions of the tops coming off in a toddlers mouth. Whyyyyy do you hand them out so freely!). Cue “can I have a lolly?” constantly till we distracted him with a juice.

– Examining the desserts menu like a little grown up and declaring that he would like “the cow”.

– Being presented with a “Daisy the Cow” toy that opened up to reveal ice cream. He was not interested in the ice cream one bit. He did however throw himself into a loud rendition of “Old McDonald had a farm….and on that farm he had a cow”. I’m not sure listening to “here a moo, there a moo” 13 times was what our neighbouring diners had envisaged when planning their afternoon out.

– Myself and OH hissing “No Lollies!! No Lollies!!” at the waiter when he kindly presented us with something for Little Z whilst we paid for our meal. Luckily Little Z was distracted by his Daisy the Cow and the poor man behind the counter looked terrified as he whisked the lollies back into hiding.

– The doorman opening the door for us on our way out and presenting Little Z with a lolly.

– Telling Little Z we had lost the lolly on the way home.

I pondered as we drove home; parenting seems to become a big web of lies. Mostly about the whereabouts of sweets.


Wot So Funee?


  1. WallyMummy April 8, 2013 / 11:17 am

    Bloody Lollies… lol 😉 mine is the same, she picks her devil child moments when it matters – anniversary lunches, birthdays, weddings, wakes etc etc, an average saturday in pizza hut she couldn’t give two shits… LMAO xx love the cow btw 😉

    • Notmyyearoff April 14, 2013 / 9:35 pm

      Haha they know to pick their moments do t they? Bloody lollies indeed!

  2. Sarah MumofThree World April 8, 2013 / 12:54 pm

    Bless him! Who wouldn’t choose ‘the cow’ from the menu?! Although Daisy the cow looks a bit scary to me!

    • Notmyyearoff April 14, 2013 / 9:36 pm

      She does look like she has some kind of rage doesn’t she?

  3. Brinabird and Son April 8, 2013 / 1:36 pm

    Yeah my wee man is a nightmare most times when out eating. My problem is actually getting him to eat and then once he has eaten he like time to go now! My wee man only really likes ice cream when it comes in a cone!

    • Notmyyearoff April 14, 2013 / 9:37 pm

      Yep we have the mood thing too. Sometimes he’s fantastic and other times he barely touches it. Those can be really long dinner times!

  4. Sharmeen n jamal April 8, 2013 / 5:34 pm

    Why is the cow angry?? Lollllll all parenting is about is lying about sweets makes it sounds do easy!! 😉

  5. Mary @over40andamumtoone April 8, 2013 / 6:55 pm

    We do appear to lie to our kids alot don’t we! I have a total ban on sweets with my 3 year old and we are having to convince him at the moment that he is getting through his Easter Eggs VERY quickly. Found you through #Magic Moments

  6. farfromhomemama April 8, 2013 / 6:56 pm

    I love eating out but sometimes I wonder why I put myself through the ‘will he/won’t he kick off’ torture. Although when we were in the Trafford Centre the other week the toddler behaved impeccably and the baby, who never, ever cries, screamed through our entire lunch. We had to take it in turns to eat/carry the baby round the food hall. At least in the summer months, we can eat outside over here and then cries and food being thrown blend in with the general atmosphere 🙂

    • Notmyyearoff April 14, 2013 / 9:40 pm

      Haha I know that exact feeling although it was at a wedding once and z decided to scream the place down during the vows. I ended up stood outside looking in!

  7. older mum in a muddle April 8, 2013 / 8:15 pm

    Oh God – Little A loves her lollies now – we can’t go into a newsagent without her demanding “lolly!”. By the way his perusing the menu and then asking if he could have the cow was pure genius! X.

    • Notmyyearoff April 14, 2013 / 9:43 pm

      Haha ohh I better watch out for newsagents and the sweetie aisles I think. It’s like a sweetie lightbulb has gone off in his head!

  8. Louise April 8, 2013 / 8:35 pm

    we had some monster ice creams on holiday one year

  9. TheBoyandMe April 8, 2013 / 8:54 pm

    What a fab cow, I like her a lot. I absolutely hate people giving out lollies, The Boy has never had one and as long as I have any control, he won’t! He only had a sweet for the first time ever a fortnight ago when he tried some Dolly Mixtures, he hated them.

  10. Jaime Oliver April 8, 2013 / 9:06 pm

    As harsh as this sounds i am so glad i am not on my own. my little man has not learned old mac Donald .. i am now scared!! lol

    Thanks for linking up with #magicmoments x

  11. Faded Seaside Mama April 8, 2013 / 10:12 pm

    The lolly obsession bemuses me. They get so excited then suck it for 5 minutes and put or down somewhere leaving a hideous, sticky mess! Yet my daughter chooses eating establishments based on whether she got a lolly there last time!

    • Notmyyearoff April 14, 2013 / 9:47 pm

      Yes!! And I’m forever hiding them in my handbag!

  12. Xandi | The Mummy Scripts April 9, 2013 / 1:10 am

    Seriously, it is always completely inappropriate sweets they get offered in restaurants and then you look like the meanest parents in the world by politely declining and then your child(ren) proceed to have screaming meltdown. We love going out to eat but as you say it’s pretty hit and miss and usually ends up involving some sort of bribery (lollies?!) to keep the peace and from getting kicked out! x

    • Notmyyearoff April 14, 2013 / 9:38 pm

      It is!! So hard once they’re in full view of your child too!

  13. HonestMum April 9, 2013 / 11:21 am

    Made me laugh in recognition! Lollies are evil!

  14. Charly Dove April 9, 2013 / 7:42 pm

    Really lovely post – the “again again” made me laugh out loud. We get that a lot 🙂

  15. Emma llmcalling April 9, 2013 / 8:55 pm

    oh yes, hiding sweets, don’t worry – soon you’ll give up 🙂

    • Notmyyearoff April 14, 2013 / 9:48 pm

      We are quickly running out of places to put them I have to admit!

  16. Sonya Cisco April 9, 2013 / 9:00 pm

    I LOVE the cow, and also hate the lollies! My ‘fav’ thing about eating out with mine is that my middle one has 17 specific requests about how he wants his food presented, with things on the side, and additions that aren’t on the menu- fussy bugger!

    • Notmyyearoff April 14, 2013 / 9:46 pm

      Haha I bet that’s really amusing to watch…particularly when the waiter starts looking a bit confused!

  17. Actually Mummy... April 9, 2013 / 10:31 pm

    Jeez that cow looks angry! Where on earth did you eat?? Thankfully eating out has become more predictable now, but it used to be mayhem with our two Thanks for joining in x

  18. Notmyyearoff April 14, 2013 / 9:40 pm

    He wouldn’t let go of her all evening!!

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