Eating out with Little Z can always be a hit and miss experience. There are times when he is an angel child making us feel very smug at our well behaved infant, whilst others we would like nothing better than to dart out of a restaurant with our heads down, shades on and hoods up so that no-one actually sees what we look like; screaming toddler securely clamped under one arm.
Obviously that would be weird. We are not celebrities and having a hood on indoors would just make us look slightly scary and ASBO-ish.
On our most recent family outing Little Z amused us by demonstrating his latest social skills.
Some of the most memorable were…
– How he was transfixed by the waitress taking our order. As soon as she finished he shouted for her to do it “again again!”. She laughed slightly nervously and shuffled off quickly. Little Z shouted after her till he realised she wasn’t coming back.
– Asking for a lolly when he spotted the little girl on the next table had one. (Dear restaurants, lollies scare the hell out of me. I always have scary visions of the tops coming off in a toddlers mouth. Whyyyyy do you hand them out so freely!). Cue “can I have a lolly?” constantly till we distracted him with a juice.
– Examining the desserts menu like a little grown up and declaring that he would like “the cow”.
– Being presented with a “Daisy the Cow” toy that opened up to reveal ice cream. He was not interested in the ice cream one bit. He did however throw himself into a loud rendition of “Old McDonald had a farm….and on that farm he had a cow”. I’m not sure listening to “here a moo, there a moo” 13 times was what our neighbouring diners had envisaged when planning their afternoon out.
– Myself and OH hissing “No Lollies!! No Lollies!!” at the waiter when he kindly presented us with something for Little Z whilst we paid for our meal. Luckily Little Z was distracted by his Daisy the Cow and the poor man behind the counter looked terrified as he whisked the lollies back into hiding.
– The doorman opening the door for us on our way out and presenting Little Z with a lolly.
– Telling Little Z we had lost the lolly on the way home.
I pondered as we drove home; parenting seems to become a big web of lies. Mostly about the whereabouts of sweets.