Together…And Then Not

When I had Little Z one of my vague parenting rules included “absolutely no dummies!”. That lasted a few weeks till we realised he was an extremely sucky baby and would scream the house down if he wasn’t attached to some suckable device or other. One knackered day we decided to try the free dummy that came with the steriliser.

It was like magic. And an instant bond of comfort was born.

I used to feel very guilty about it but he loved it to fall asleep and would even hold one in his hand. Wherever he was the dummy was there. Together. On standby. Just incase. It became one of the things that had to be packed into the changing bag.

As he got older we tried various half hearted ways to get rid completely but it never worked for more than a day. To be honest, I don’t think we, as parents, were ready to get rid of that one comfort either.

We tried a lot of different things including:

1. Claiming they were all lost
2. Telling him the Snowman / Hairdryer had taken them
3. Trying to simply insist “No – you’re a big boy now”
4. Trying to force a cuddly Cookie Monster onto him instead of the dummy.

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Then a few weeks ago he asked for sweets and I used my new line of “we don’t have any sweets, they are at Grandma’s house”.

He studied my face for a bit and then decided I was telling the truth. Aha!!

That night, as per usual, he asked for his dummy. I used the same lie and braced myself. There was a bit of an annoyed huff and puff but he accepted it better than I thought he would. That first night took him absolutely ages to get to sleep but he did it.

And that was the beginning of getting rid completely. I think the time was mostly right. He was ready to get rid of it. There have been a lot of tears and tantrums along the way but its been a lot better than I thought it would be. To be honest it was a chance examination of his teeth that made me worry that the future may bring braces that made me finally stick to my guns.

We are now two weeks from that night now and I think we can safely say we are finally rid of the dummy.

58 Comments

  1. Sarah MumofThree World April 3, 2013 / 5:47 am

    That’s really good! Amazing how easy it can be to fool them when you think it will never work. I had a no dummy rule too, although in desperation we did try one with my eldest. He would never take it though, so we did manage all three if them without.

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:19 pm

      That’s brilliant. I think mums will eventually try most things when they’re constantly knackered!

  2. Tom April 3, 2013 / 7:21 am

    Result! Congratulations on that, must try that line myself. My older son still has a dummy, but this needs to stop – we just haven’t summoned the courage to broker the subject yet!

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:22 pm

      I have to admit I would never leave the house without one. It was such a big comfort to him! I’m actually still carrying one around….just in case!

  3. Kate, WitWitWoo April 3, 2013 / 9:01 am

    I really wanted Dexter to have a dummy but he preferred his thumb instead – which is slightly harder to get rid of 🙂

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:31 pm

      Oh definitely. I’ve seen that with my friends son and niece!

  4. Becky @ lakes single mum April 3, 2013 / 8:03 am

    Well done I never had them with mine but know how hard they are to lose

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:24 pm

      I’m not sure i would have been brave enough if it wasn’t for worrying about his teeth!

  5. Jaime Oliver April 3, 2013 / 8:23 am

    This is fab! i am so pleased you cracked it 🙂 xx

  6. shahnaz April 3, 2013 / 8:41 am

    My eldest had a dummy…..he loved it…we did eventually wean him off too ……well done success

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:26 pm

      Thanks! I think building myself up to doing it was probably the worst bit!

  7. Brinabird and Son April 3, 2013 / 8:49 am

    My wee man has a dummy and I am hoping to get rid of it soon but he seems to be getting more attached to it than ever! So glad it was easy for you.

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:27 pm

      I can completely understand. Z was so attached that he’d have one in his mouth and hold another in his hand. I think he has to be ready more than anything else.

  8. Kelly Wiffin April 3, 2013 / 8:51 am

    It is always nice to get rid of a dummy. We did it a few months back with A. She took a few nights to get rid of it but now she never ever asks for it back! Well done!

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:28 pm

      Thanks. It’s a bit scary at first isn’t it? He does try to get it back every once in a while but so far so good!

  9. Thisdayilove April 3, 2013 / 9:24 am

    Im dreading the day I have to get my youngest off her dummy she is very attached, eldest never wanted one

  10. TheBoyandMe April 3, 2013 / 10:15 am

    Well done you, little white lies are allowed in situations like this I reckon! I love that you tried to tell him that the hairdryer had taken it!

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:33 pm

      Haha …model parenting 😉 it didn’t work well though!

  11. Mrs Darling April 3, 2013 / 11:24 am

    Aww, another milestone; I think that it is mostly timing, a similar thing happened with my daughter when she just went without her dummy at her grandma’s and just carried it on. Well done! 🙂

  12. LauraCYMFT April 3, 2013 / 11:31 am

    We always said no dummies either but Z had one within 2 weeks LOL. Well done for helping him give the dummy up. My Mum’s next door neighbour has a teenage daughter who still uses her dummy. Her teeth are a mess. Cute photo. Z’s eyelashes are so long!

  13. Susan Mann April 3, 2013 / 1:29 pm

    That’s great news. We used the dummy fairy to get rid of the boys. Well done Z xx

  14. tiddlyompompom April 3, 2013 / 3:04 pm

    Well done you! I dread the day that we have to get Little M to give up her dummies.

  15. Emma April 3, 2013 / 4:19 pm

    Such a bitter sweet moment isn’t it? You really want to get rid of the dummies, but it means that they are growing up! I was a chicken and asked the post lady to take them to “post to a baby that needed them” 😀

  16. Jacq April 3, 2013 / 5:59 pm

    None of mine wanted dummies, although they were all offered one. Two of them took to their thumbs instead.

  17. butwhymummywhy April 3, 2013 / 7:16 pm

    Well done! We haven’t dared even try to do this with E yet. She only has it for sleeping so I imagine it’s something we’ll be trying in a few months. xx

  18. Elaine Livingstone April 3, 2013 / 6:56 pm

    my daughter went from dummy to thumb, and needed braces as I could not take her thumb off her

  19. Claire toplis April 3, 2013 / 8:02 pm

    Well done on cracking the dummy situation .x

  20. Faded Seaside Mama April 3, 2013 / 8:15 pm

    I dread having to separate Bear from her dummy and can only hope that it’s as simple as this. A little white lie. With Bunny we used the Dummy Fairy (or dummy fella as she called it back then) story and having a new sister made it easier as she got the whole new babies need dummies more than you part. Not sure it’ll work a second time round!
    Well done you, and him!

  21. I heart Motherhood April 3, 2013 / 8:16 pm

    aw well done! I know how hard it is – we eventually were down to one lone dummy and it got a hole in it. I told Isla it would have germs and that was that – she didn’t have it, after all that time of her clinging on to it, she just accepted it. they have to be ready I think. x

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:46 pm

      I think the timing is so important. If they’re not ready you’ll just go back and forth…probably same with potty training I guess (we’re definitely not ready!)

  22. Misty April 3, 2013 / 9:09 pm

    That’s brilliant! I think most parents find it challenging to get their children to let go of their dummies. Like you say, it’s their comfort so it’s difficult for them. The best one I’ve heard so far, is a child collected all of their dummies and they ‘paid’ for a new toy with them in the Disney store. Obviously the cashier needs to know beforehand 😉 haha!
    Lovely picture xx

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:29 pm

      I love this idea!! Although I think z would half of what was in the store!! 🙂

  23. Kerry April 3, 2013 / 9:30 pm

    Aaah! I remember those days! We said the dummy had gone to a baby that needed it and ended up fishing it out of the bin at 2am…. Parenting fail! 🙂 Kerry x

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:32 pm

      That would SOOO be me!!! I think we just got lucky because he was ready. I would cave within seconds otherwise

  24. Funky Wellies April 3, 2013 / 9:36 pm

    Both my daughters had dummies too – mostly just to go to sleep – and stopping the habit was not a problem. Looks like you found the right time/way to do it! xx

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:34 pm

      I think it’s definitely a timing thing! I’m sure he would have put up a huge fight if he wasn’t ready.

  25. jenny paulin April 3, 2013 / 10:25 pm

    well done to you both on weaning him off his pacifier. it must be hard to stop because they are such a great source of comfort. i was always a thumb sucker!!!
    and i love your Mummy white lies/stories for reasons of the whereabouts of the dummy!! lol you crack me up brilliant x x

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:35 pm

      Haha thanks 🙂 my brother was a thumb sucker too, till he was about 5! I was a dummy lover apparently!

  26. The Fool April 4, 2013 / 12:38 pm

    Children can be such creatures of habit can’t they? My sister told her boy that the dummy was going to the dummy fairy as he was now old enough. She popped a £1 under his pillow that night and he seemed to buy it

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:44 pm

      That’s an excellent idea! Although I managed to get away with it for free…this time 🙂

  27. older mum in a muddle April 4, 2013 / 1:22 pm

    Well done you – what a journey! Little A never had a dummy BUT then she always wanted my booby instead!

  28. Kara April 4, 2013 / 3:18 pm

    Well done – I hate dummies with a passion and have been lucky that none of mine have taken to them!

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:43 pm

      I really hope when number 2 comes along he/she won’t be having one….hope!

  29. Mama Owl April 4, 2013 / 6:06 pm

    Result! Well done Z for being a big boy x

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:41 pm

      Thanks…although he does occasionally try to tell me that he’s “not a big boy” as a way to try to get it back!

  30. L.A.C.E. April 4, 2013 / 6:21 pm

    Woot Woot! We always started with the nap one first. My youngest doesn’t use a sucky, but sucks on his two fingers. Now there is a challenge lol

  31. Katie @mummydaddyme April 4, 2013 / 7:03 pm

    I must admit I don’t like dummies, that was my one rule too, only because I have seen friends who have really struggled to get rid of them completely and I don’t have much willpower- she would probably still have it until she was 18! Well done on getting rid of it! Thats impressive! x

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:40 pm

      I think it was a big fluke but I’ll take it 😉 I’m just glad he was ok about it else it would have gone on for years here too!

  32. Sonya Cisco April 5, 2013 / 9:38 am

    I wish Syd had a dummy, he uses the boob for comfort, not sure I can think of a story for that being absent! 🙂

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:38 pm

      Hehe. Yep you definitely can’t lift your top and claim “all gone!”.

  33. farfromhomemama April 5, 2013 / 7:10 pm

    I never wanted to give my boys dummies because I couldn’t face weaning them off them but a few weeks ago, I gave one to BB because he always seemed to be chewing on his hands to get to sleep and seemed really unsettled. Wouldn’t you know, he loved it! It might be a bit of a pain to get rid of the habit later but if he’s still got one at 5, there’s worse things 🙂

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:37 pm

      Hehe I know this feeling so well. After nights of screaming the dummy was a god send! Then he just completely fell in love with it!

  34. Erica Price April 6, 2013 / 2:18 pm

    Well done. I had the same attitude to dummies before H was born. Then I felt we had to try one because he was a sucky baby too, but sadly he didn’t take to the dummy so it was a hard first year. Of course, we didn’t need to handle giving it up then though.

    • Notmyyearoff April 6, 2013 / 10:36 pm

      Think that’s really really hard when you have a sucky baby. Bet it felt a bit of a blur of a year!

  35. Clare April 7, 2013 / 12:31 pm

    Well done you!!! I have been thinking about doing the same with Emily soon. She thankfully only uses it to nap and at night but even that seems to be becoming a bit pointless now. I did try to put her to sleep without it a few months ago but as you said, it was probably me who wasn’t ready, and she read me like a book and that lasted maybe 3 minutes until I handed her dummy to her with a sigh of relief. Maybe sometime soon…..!!

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