Working part time means I have two proper days where Little Z and I do mum and toddler stuff. Sometimes we do exciting things like going to the zoo and pointing at elephants and being impressed by penguins that look like they’re doing acrobatics all day long. And other times we do exciting things like doing jigsaws, going to the supermarket, walking in the park and jumping and splash splashing in puddles even if they are about an inch in depth. Whatever we do, it’s always fun and feels like we’re spending some quality time together.
Recently though office work has taken over some of my days off and weekends. Its proved to be a bit a new challenge trying to balance a professional work call with a bouncy loud toddler running around at lightning speed. I’ve found it gives a whole new meaning to the word “stressed out”
So here is my guide on how to take a work call with a toddler around:
1. See work phone ringing, panic slightly and gesture to toddler to please be quiet for a couple of minutes.
2. Answer call just as toddler, who up to this point was reasonably quiet, start asking loudly “WHO IS IT MUMMY??”
3. Try to concentrate on work matters whilst at the same time keeping an eye of little toddler hurricane causing havoc in living room.
4. Run as quickly and quietly as you can to junk cupboard and offer toddler jelly tots, crisps, biscuit, anything to keep him quiet for a bit.
5. Try to answer shouts of “MUMMY! MUMMY MUMMY” as silently as you can whilst simultaneously answering questions about that report, statistics, IT related thing that needs urgent attention.
6. Try to sneak away to the kitchen so you can hear yourself think (as well the person on the other end of the phone!).
7. Watch in silent horror as toddler, who is normally happy to ignore you, come and glue himself to your leg / demand strawberries / yoghurt / Sarah and Duck.
8. Confess to the person on the other end of the phone that that very loud noise he can hear is your son making the noise of a hoover whilst pushing it around the room.
9. Agree you should replace the batteries in it so that he stops the hoover impressions.
10. Hang up and realise you’ve already forgotten half of what the person said and that you’re going to have to dial back for clarification.