The Extension of Me

When Little Z came along, no-one ever told me that I would become an extension of him. I discovered that parenting doesn’t just involve physically caring for your child but it means going through all their emotions with them. I’d have to relive childhood again. The good parts including lots of giggles and laughter. The bad parts including working through their anxiety and fears. The nerve wracking parts that are yet to come like friendships, playground politics, pre-schools, school, teens. Of course, as he grows up the strength of his character and confidence lets him detach himself from my apron strings ever so slowly. In a proud, sad, happy way all at once.

It’s a slightly strange feeling going through childhood again. It’s a lot of fun and you hope and imagine that the journey from the first time around has equipped you with sufficient resilience to go through it all the second time around slightly more pain free. You know inside this isn’t true. You know that there will be bumps along the way but you hope your protective helmets will make the journey a relatively smooth one.

Then I recently made another discovery. That the situation works in reverse too.

He is becoming an extension of me.

He is sounding more and more like me on a daily basis. Absorbing what I say and playing it back to us, knowing when to say what. Recently the wider world has experienced first hand what our parenting technique is like in the privacy of our own home. It is sometimes like looking into a little mirror. A, mostly, very funny one.

One thing I’ve learned about myself in the last couple of months from looking into that little mirror is that I really need to reduce the frequency of the word “OK?” at the end of a sentence.

Some of Little Z’s most recent gems of advice have included the following:

Me/OH/ Member of family says a sentence including the word “stupid”:
Little Z: “Don’t say that word Mummy / Daddy / wider public. Don’t say that word again Ok? Good boy”.

Little Z to the OH: “Daddy, if you eat all your dinner first then you can play later, Ok?”

Little Z to the OH: “Daddy! Come downstairs right now and put your shoes on or we’re not going outside! Ok?”

Little Z: “You stay here for a bit. I’m going to go work now but I’ll be back later, Ok?”

Me to Little Z: “Little Z are you listening?”
Little Z: “Yes my darling”

Little Z: “Be careful Mummy. Don’t hurt yourself. Come down slowly. Ok?”

Whenever we see the neighbour opposite
Little Z: “Look! Say morning Mummy, say morning!”.
Little Z: “MORRRRNING!” (On repeat until he gets a reply)

Little Z: “Say thank you Mummy”
Me: “Oh…thank you”
Little Z: “You’re welcome”
Me: (Trying to conceal laughter)
Little Z: “Now say “Good Boy””

I’m still waiting for him to pick up the OH’s regular phrase to him:

“You sound just like your mother”

extension of me



33 Comments

  1. Sarah MumofThree World November 11, 2013 / 7:33 am

    That is SO cute. Love him telling you to come down slowly and not hurt yourself πŸ™‚
    I think we worry more on our second childhoods. Kids just think they’re invincible and will do everything. We know they’re not, so we worry more. But at least we get to go to the cinema to watch kids’ films and on slow rides at theme parks!

  2. Capture by Lucy November 11, 2013 / 9:55 am

    Ha! My Sammy who is 4 is just like that! He’s always taking it upon himself to discipline his younger brother! Like a mini version. Such a sweet post! #whatsthestory

  3. Karen November 11, 2013 / 10:40 am

    I have noticed particularly this with Em, who is older, she picks up on all my mannerisms, and things I say and do, and copies me. It’s like watching myself sometimes. I also now think I sound just like my own mother, something I swore I would try not to, before I had children, but now realise how often she was right! πŸ˜‰
    Karen recently posted…Thomas and Friends Christmas JourneyMy Profile

  4. LauraCYMFT November 11, 2013 / 11:35 am

    It is funny to hear them pick up on the things you say and the way you say them, isn’t it?
    LauraCYMFT recently posted…What’s the Story? #11My Profile

  5. Charly Dove November 11, 2013 / 11:54 am

    Properly laughing my head off, Little Z is so like POD it’s uncanny! You’re so right how they adopt what we’re saying and repeat it back again. It is highly entertaining most of the time though. My personal favourite is β€œYou stay here for a bit. I’m going to go work now but I’ll be back later, Ok?”. Thank you for sharing with #whatsthestory

  6. sarahhillwheeler November 11, 2013 / 12:11 pm

    So sweet and so true. Boy has just started telling me “You’re just like your mother!” And I am definitely having to moderate my language whilst driving…..the other night he told Daddy “This is the corner where Mummy saw the pill**k.” It sounds like your LO is picking up some more engaging mannerisms from you, but it is amazing how sponge like their little minds are!
    sarahhillwheeler recently posted…Why holidays rockMy Profile

  7. Super Busy Mum {Debs} November 11, 2013 / 12:23 pm

    This was a super sweet post to read and your little boy sounds so much like my little boy! haha!! #magicmoments x
    Super Busy Mum {Debs} recently posted…A Mothers Gift.My Profile

  8. Josie November 11, 2013 / 11:27 am

    I’m finding it quite alarming at times seeing myself through my daughter. It certainly makes you more aware of those little things you do that you don’t really want to see repeated by a little person (must stop saying bugger).

  9. Afra November 11, 2013 / 2:49 pm

    very cute – it is amazing how much they reflect us, and not always in a good way! popping over from #magicmoments

  10. Jess @ Along Came Cherry November 11, 2013 / 9:39 pm

    It is crazy how you learn things about yourself through your children. Cherry always says ‘yeah but’ and I caught myself saying it the other day and realised where she got it from! x
    Jess @ Along Came Cherry recently posted…Sharing Is CaringMy Profile

  11. suzanne3childrenandit November 12, 2013 / 9:24 am

    Ha ha this is so cute πŸ™‚ There’s an awful lot of those sentences that I would be very proud to hear him say….”yes my darling” being one of them! Sounds like you’re doing an excellent job – just drop the swear words, ok?!
    suzanne3childrenandit recently posted…What do you want to be when you grow up?My Profile

  12. Katie @mummydaddyme November 12, 2013 / 10:37 pm

    This is so cute. Mads is definitely a mini me. She tells off her sister, tells off me and tells off her Daddy. πŸ˜‰

  13. Jaime Oliver November 12, 2013 / 11:10 pm

    love it honey!! i do hope he doesnt pick up your hubbys saying! lol

    thanks for linking up with #MagicMoments x
    Jaime Oliver recently posted…DIY Felt GarlandMy Profile

  14. 3yearsandhome November 13, 2013 / 10:03 am

    Oh this really made me laugh. It’s both hilarious and scary when you hear yourself in someone else. I use ‘yes’ at the end of my sentences rather than ‘OK’ so am experiencing very similar to you. I also say ‘Jeeeezz’ a lot for some unknown reason and keep hearing CK say it. We have to be sooooo careful.
    3yearsandhome recently posted…When two styles go to warMy Profile

  15. Charlotte November 13, 2013 / 1:27 pm

    Great post! πŸ™‚ Bob regularly says things and I think “Where on earth did you get that from?’ Then I hear mysef saying it. Oops! πŸ™‚ x
    Charlotte recently posted…Bob’s Best Day EverMy Profile

  16. Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) November 15, 2013 / 3:45 am

    I was also thinking how hard it is for my parents to raise me. When I became a parent I get to appreciate my mother more πŸ™‚
    Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) recently posted…You’re a fireworkMy Profile

  17. Becky November 15, 2013 / 11:16 am

    So true My son says each day when I pick him up form school..so mummy how was your day?
    Great post…o9ver from LAB
    Becky recently posted…Me & My UmbrellaMy Profile

  18. Mammasaurus November 15, 2013 / 12:49 pm

    I know this feeling – Kitty has started saying things like’ Good one mum’ everytime I say something !!
    Mammasaurus recently posted…Eat: Crab & Fennel LinguineMy Profile

  19. older mum in a muddle November 19, 2013 / 11:00 am

    Little A’s crowning moment was when she turned around to me and said, ‘all you do is go blah, blah, blah’ !? And she says ‘okay’ an awful lot too! Very funny post. X
    older mum in a muddle recently posted…#One Week – Autumn ’13 – HandsMy Profile

  20. Franglaise Mummy November 24, 2013 / 5:31 pm

    That is too gorgeous for words – love it! I am also guilty of too many “ok”s, and I hear it parroted back to me too.
    Popping over super belatedly from Magic Moments.
    Franglaise Mummy recently posted…Happy 1st Birthday C: An open letterMy Profile

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