As Little Z is starting to show a passion for kicking a football at pretty much everything, the Other Half has found a little weekend footy club especially for little ones, aged 3 and above. It sounds pretty good. It’s run by one of the coaches of an actual footy team in some kind of league (I know nothing about football). I did get to enjoy all the videos of Little Zs antics on his first session though. At the age of 3, he’s the youngest there and looks like he very much enjoyed making his own rules up.
So this is, apparently, how to play football, aged 3.
1. Take great delight in playing “fox” and “rabbits”, a drill session where they chase a designated “rabbit”).
2. Run directly to Daddy when it’s your turn to play the rabbit as you get chased by a roaring fox.
3. Attempt to shove bib down shorts when coach instructs it should be worn (as required in the drill sessions).
4. Concentrate on coach’s instructions for about 3 seconds before getting up and sprinting in some random direction.
5. Spend half of the training session scooped up under the coach’s armpit as he brings you back to the pitch.
6. Love kicking the football every which way, even when instructed to stop.
7. Take a break mid game and jump over the line of cones. Just for fun.
8. Practice how to dive. A lot! Sometimes just drop spontaneously even if there’s been no other human contact. Laugh hilariously.
9. Ask to drink a Fruit shoot every 5 minutes.
10. Shout “You can’t catch me!” and leg it as soon as it’s time to vacate the sports hall.