The Rules According To A 3 Year Old

Many moons ago I wrote a post titled The rules according to a toddler. Toddlers seemed to have their own way of living and it was definitely interesting to live with one. It seems things just hot up a notch when they turn 3. Full of emotion and a big helping of independence, they really do test your nerves at times, whilst making you laugh your head off every so often. A whole new set of rules that all the threenagers seem to know about.

So after careful observation of just the one 3 year old (mine), here is what I think the rules are:

1. Accept no help whatsoever in any task. Shout defiantly that you are going to do it by yourself.

2. After struggling for about 15 minutes, demand Adult helps you instantly.

3. Take 2 hours to only half eat breakfast.

4. Wait till Adult gives in persuading you to eat, watch them eat your breakfast. Then have emotional tantrum about how you actually wanted it.

5. Demand Adult gives you something different. Don’t eat it once presented with it.

6. Get a new batch of emotions every week. Use them dramatically every hour or so. Instant waterworks are good to acquire things quickly.

7. Insist on helping in EVERYTHING. Take charge and tell Adult what to do.
Repeatedly.

8. Instantly repeat things you really shouldn’t. Naughty words or frustrated adult huffs are usually good.

9. Repeat excitedly at great speed if Adult looks horrified and tries to get you to stop.

10. Talk Non-stop. All day. Every day. Non stop. Without pause.

11. Rise same time every day around the break of dawn. Or before. Whether you went to bed late or not.

12. Make Adult drag you out of bed on weekdays. Get up before break of dawn at weekends.

13. Start telling the public and relatives what goes on at home. Regale stories of what Mummy and Daddy did and spill the beans on anything that’s private. Making stuff up is ok and spices things up. Watch Adults squirm later when public/ relatives enquire if said story is true.

14. Refuse need for loo the first 20 times an Adult asks.

15. Announce you need loo as soon as Adult is about to put morsel of food in mouth. Make it look urgent.

16. Do a 2 second wee and announce you’re done. Yes you’re sure. Look exasperated with Adults constant questioning around if you’re done.

17. Take ages to get into car seat. Eventually do it after Adult threatens to take something away. Decide you need the loo..

18. Refuse to leave car unless Adult lets you “drive”. Sit in drivers seat and pretend to drive. Take your time and get full enjoyment out of driving experience.

19. Tell Adult they are your best friend. Throws them off track.

21. Say “please!” constantly and repeatedly to try to get more sweets/drinks/crisps/naughty snack out of them.

22. As soon as any Adult says they are going out, ask where they are off to and announce you are going too, whether you’ve been invited or not.

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36 Comments

  1. Nikki Thomas April 7, 2014 / 4:54 am

    Brilliant and oh so true – I am fairly sure that most of these rules apply to four year olds too
    Nikki Thomas recently posted…The 365 Project – Week 13 and 14My Profile

  2. Sarah MumofThree World April 7, 2014 / 5:56 am

    Brilliant, all so true! It is such a contrary age. If memory serves me correctly, this continues when they’re 4, but changes when the start school. School being a complete game-changer on all levels.
    Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…Knock-on effectMy Profile

  3. Karen April 7, 2014 / 9:08 am

    So you’ve met my 3 almost 4 year old then??

  4. Michelle @ Bod for tea April 7, 2014 / 10:26 am

    Almost spit my coffee out reading this – just brilliant! Little Man is only 17 months but he’s already starting to get the hang of some of these and Curly Girl is a true pro already. Sometimes I throw a tantrum myself just to surprise them – works best at home I find otherwise other adults look like they’re wondering whether they should call the police…
    Michelle @ Bod for tea recently posted…Exciting news at Bod Towers!My Profile

  5. Mummytries April 7, 2014 / 1:15 pm

    So so true! It’s all normal though, and part of them learning to be who they are. It would be nice if they accepted a little help along the way wouldn’t it! My 4yo is only just realising it could be beneficial to do so ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Mummytries recently posted…My Valentineโ€™s Birth Story #MagicMomentsMy Profile

  6. Emma T April 7, 2014 / 8:49 pm

    OMG. That’s my son! Especially 2-4 and the car driving one. I have permanently muddy seats from him climbing over to the front. Now I just man-handle him out of the back before he can escape to the front!
    Emma T recently posted…Chatty children who don’t stopMy Profile

  7. katie April 7, 2014 / 9:40 pm

    Oi stop spreading these!!
    Seriously though F is already down with most of them, the chatter and refusing the loo are definite favourites ๐Ÿ˜‰
    katie recently posted…Fast food babyMy Profile

  8. older mum in a muddle April 8, 2014 / 5:24 pm

    This is brilliant… so well observed… can ALL be applied to Little A, even now she’s four! My personal favourite….. ask for no help on a task, but actually ask for help fifteen minutes later! X
    older mum in a muddle recently posted…Saved by Red VelvetMy Profile

  9. Jenny April 9, 2014 / 8:05 am

    Omgoodness this is hilarious. It was like reading the rules for my tot Buba. He does many of these daily. hahaha I love this post. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me Week 10. I love reading your posts each week, thank you so much for the linky support! #sharewithme
    Jenny recently posted…Share With Me ~ wk 10My Profile

  10. KidGLloves April 9, 2014 / 12:45 pm

    Lucas says – Well played with this post. Clearly, you think you have us sussed!!!! Challenge accepted!!! #sharewithme
    KidGLloves recently posted…Mini Creations Wednesday 9th April 2014My Profile

  11. normaleverydaylife April 9, 2014 / 7:04 pm

    This brings back so many memories! Whenever I get nostalgic for preschoolers, I need to read this and refresh my memory! ๐Ÿ™‚
    normaleverydaylife recently posted…Remembering the OrdinaryMy Profile

  12. Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) April 9, 2014 / 10:38 pm

    why am i nodding to each entry on your list? oh i just realized i have a 3 year old son too =P #sharewithme
    Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) recently posted…Guilt TripMy Profile

  13. Becky April 10, 2014 / 8:36 am

    Love this! Describes my 3.2 year old to a tee!

  14. lorna mai April 12, 2014 / 12:08 am

    This is hilarious. I used to teach Nursery. Its so funny when the children spill the beans on their parents! #sharefriday
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  15. mama undone April 12, 2014 / 1:22 pm

    So true lol hmmmm toddlers. Gotta love em.
    mama undone recently posted…SwearingMy Profile

  16. Jess @ Along Came Cherry April 13, 2014 / 8:59 pm

    So true! Can totally relate to the breakfast one! Cherry insists on having ready brek then toast then decides she doesn’t want any of it and only wants one of those expensive goodies oat bars! x
    Jess @ Along Came Cherry recently posted…Baby Thank You CardsMy Profile

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