Many moons ago I wrote a post titled The rules according to a toddler. Toddlers seemed to have their own way of living and it was definitely interesting to live with one. It seems things just hot up a notch when they turn 3. Full of emotion and a big helping of independence, they really do test your nerves at times, whilst making you laugh your head off every so often. A whole new set of rules that all the threenagers seem to know about.
So after careful observation of just the one 3 year old (mine), here is what I think the rules are:
1. Accept no help whatsoever in any task. Shout defiantly that you are going to do it by yourself.
2. After struggling for about 15 minutes, demand Adult helps you instantly.
3. Take 2 hours to only half eat breakfast.
4. Wait till Adult gives in persuading you to eat, watch them eat your breakfast. Then have emotional tantrum about how you actually wanted it.
5. Demand Adult gives you something different. Don’t eat it once presented with it.
6. Get a new batch of emotions every week. Use them dramatically every hour or so. Instant waterworks are good to acquire things quickly.
7. Insist on helping in EVERYTHING. Take charge and tell Adult what to do.
Repeatedly.
8. Instantly repeat things you really shouldn’t. Naughty words or frustrated adult huffs are usually good.
9. Repeat excitedly at great speed if Adult looks horrified and tries to get you to stop.
10. Talk Non-stop. All day. Every day. Non stop. Without pause.
11. Rise same time every day around the break of dawn. Or before. Whether you went to bed late or not.
12. Make Adult drag you out of bed on weekdays. Get up before break of dawn at weekends.
13. Start telling the public and relatives what goes on at home. Regale stories of what Mummy and Daddy did and spill the beans on anything that’s private. Making stuff up is ok and spices things up. Watch Adults squirm later when public/ relatives enquire if said story is true.
14. Refuse need for loo the first 20 times an Adult asks.
15. Announce you need loo as soon as Adult is about to put morsel of food in mouth. Make it look urgent.
16. Do a 2 second wee and announce you’re done. Yes you’re sure. Look exasperated with Adults constant questioning around if you’re done.
17. Take ages to get into car seat. Eventually do it after Adult threatens to take something away. Decide you need the loo..
18. Refuse to leave car unless Adult lets you “drive”. Sit in drivers seat and pretend to drive. Take your time and get full enjoyment out of driving experience.
19. Tell Adult they are your best friend. Throws them off track.
21. Say “please!” constantly and repeatedly to try to get more sweets/drinks/crisps/naughty snack out of them.
22. As soon as any Adult says they are going out, ask where they are off to and announce you are going too, whether you’ve been invited or not.
>
Hahaha, oh yes. To every single one of these! That said, my 3yo is now 4 and I don’t see any change yet!
Pippa Ainsworth recently posted…Lost My Name Personalised Books
Brilliant and oh so true – I am fairly sure that most of these rules apply to four year olds too
Nikki Thomas recently posted…The 365 Project – Week 13 and 14
Sounds a bit like my husband too, weirdly!
Grenglish recently posted…Stuck in a Diet Rut
Brilliant, all so true! It is such a contrary age. If memory serves me correctly, this continues when they’re 4, but changes when the start school. School being a complete game-changer on all levels.
Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…Knock-on effect
Hahaha you’ve had me laughing out loud. Great post! X
Mummy Says recently posted…In defence of mothers on the phone
ha ha – all so true! x
The Reading Residence recently posted…Our Stay at Coombe Mill
So you’ve met my 3 almost 4 year old then??
Almost spit my coffee out reading this – just brilliant! Little Man is only 17 months but he’s already starting to get the hang of some of these and Curly Girl is a true pro already. Sometimes I throw a tantrum myself just to surprise them – works best at home I find otherwise other adults look like they’re wondering whether they should call the police…
Michelle @ Bod for tea recently posted…Exciting news at Bod Towers!
This is brilliant, just like my three year old!!!
Natalie {Little Jam Pot Life – blog} recently posted…My creative mind needs to explode
So so true! It’s all normal though, and part of them learning to be who they are. It would be nice if they accepted a little help along the way wouldn’t it! My 4yo is only just realising it could be beneficial to do so 😉
Mummytries recently posted…My Valentine’s Birth Story #MagicMoments
Oh yes! Exactly like Mads. We do many of these and then some. 😉
Katie @mummydaddyme recently posted…{The Ordinary Moments 14} #14 The End Of A Journey…
OMG. That’s my son! Especially 2-4 and the car driving one. I have permanently muddy seats from him climbing over to the front. Now I just man-handle him out of the back before he can escape to the front!
Emma T recently posted…Chatty children who don’t stop
Oi stop spreading these!!
Seriously though F is already down with most of them, the chatter and refusing the loo are definite favourites 😉
katie recently posted…Fast food baby
What till they hit 4 .. toddlers are so much fun enjoy
ninja cat recently posted…Simplicity Is the Greatest Adventure.
Yes, yes and yes! And, I have to go through it all again with the wee girl 🙂
Sara (@mumturnedmom) recently posted…Me and: Running
This is brilliant… so well observed… can ALL be applied to Little A, even now she’s four! My personal favourite….. ask for no help on a task, but actually ask for help fifteen minutes later! X
older mum in a muddle recently posted…Saved by Red Velvet
Yep seems to apply to every male relative of mine (need a new family) 😉 Loved this!
Honest Mum recently posted…Review of Homeware from Dotcomgiftshop.com and Win a £25 voucher
Haha, so true. I was nodding away at the first 2, that’s my little boy exactly, “I do it!” x
Not a frumpy mum recently posted…8 reasons you will ALWAYS be late with a toddler!
Omgoodness this is hilarious. It was like reading the rules for my tot Buba. He does many of these daily. hahaha I love this post. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me Week 10. I love reading your posts each week, thank you so much for the linky support! #sharewithme
Jenny recently posted…Share With Me ~ wk 10
My now 4 year old definitely lives by these rules!! #sharewithme
chantelle hazelden recently posted…Stepping Into Spring With Weird Fish
All totally true. And frankly hilarious 😀
Jenny @ The Brick Castle recently posted…A giant modified LEGO Emporium and a LEGO Apple Shop
So funny and so true, my 3 year old is exactly the same! Great post 🙂 #sharewithme
Emma Kershaw recently posted…Our Family Is Complete
Lucas says – Well played with this post. Clearly, you think you have us sussed!!!! Challenge accepted!!! #sharewithme
KidGLloves recently posted…Mini Creations Wednesday 9th April 2014
This is SPOT ON!!! Great post xx
I’ve popped over from #sharewithme and would love for you to come say hi to me too 🙂 carsonsmummyblogspot.co.uk
Jo & Bump! (@carsonsmummy) recently posted…Appreciating where you’re from
This brings back so many memories! Whenever I get nostalgic for preschoolers, I need to read this and refresh my memory! 🙂
normaleverydaylife recently posted…Remembering the Ordinary
I was nodding along with so many of these!
#sharewithme
Colette recently posted…Lamaze Bella Bunny and Hide & Seek book – Review
why am i nodding to each entry on your list? oh i just realized i have a 3 year old son too =P #sharewithme
Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) recently posted…Guilt Trip
Love this! Describes my 3.2 year old to a tee!
love this hun! Is it scary that my 2.5 year old is showing signs of doing some of these already? xx lol
Christina recently posted…Support in coping with colic
This is hilarious. I used to teach Nursery. Its so funny when the children spill the beans on their parents! #sharefriday
lorna mai recently posted…Very Inspiring Blog Award
So true lol hmmmm toddlers. Gotta love em.
mama undone recently posted…Swearing
So true, I clearly remember the “I can do it!”, ho-hum, something to look forward to in a year or so with daughter number 2….
Franglaise Mummy recently posted…Peaches Geldof’s death and why I blog
Haha these are so true!! I can tick almost every single one off my checklist of 2/3/4/5/6 year old annoyances! 😀
x x
ghostwritermummy recently posted…Easter themed Treasure Tray
Hahaha! I love reading your posts! Always makes me smile!
Rahul
Champagne and Chutney recently posted…Country Living
Thanks for linking up this post to #brilliantblogposts imagine if 3 year old’s ruled the world-I suppose they think they do-fab to have this post to remind yours of his hilarious way-my 4 year old still insists on ‘driving’. Brilliant x
Honest Mum recently posted…What Matters Most? Enter John Lewis’ Fab Drawing Competition
So true! Can totally relate to the breakfast one! Cherry insists on having ready brek then toast then decides she doesn’t want any of it and only wants one of those expensive goodies oat bars! x
Jess @ Along Came Cherry recently posted…Baby Thank You Cards