Goodbye Jeans

Goodbye Jeans

We have reached an interesting phase in our house. Little Z has decided he fancies himself a bit of a Patrick Swayze in the last scene of Dirty Dancing; the bit where he slides across the floor on his knees. Except that he does it constantly. About 4 times an hour.

Whether it’s leaping off his latest thrill seeking height, running about at speed or simply showing off his new found footy skills, everything lands with sliding across the floor and more often than not, his artistic moves are finished by just lying there, for a bit of a rest, and occasionally with his ear to the ground. Literally.

And instead of just getting up, a new found perspective has been experienced. That of walking around on all fours. Like “a cat”. This particular cat can move at pretty high speed, testing the mettle of his jeans, scuffing as they go, wearing thin way before their time.

It doesn’t matter where we are and outdoors in public places is just as effective a place to practice as in the comfort of his own home.

As I find myself immersed in a daily loop of scraping dried mud off both his trainers and his jeans, I’ve come to definite conclusion that jeans are not going to live their intended lifespan in our house for the next decade, at least. Unless, of course, I invest in some heavy duty shin pads or start sewing the equivalent of elbow patches onto his knees. Whilst they would be questionably uncool they may have a huge market out there. Imagine the demand. I could be rich.

To his delight, he discovered he could admire himself gliding around on his knees in a recent visit to a shoe shop. With the majority of mirrors placed at feet height he gazed at his reflection whilst skidding speedily about on his knees around not one, but 4 shops whilst the Other Half wanted to visit “just one more shop” to find the perfect pair of trainers and as my head was slowly about to blow clean off my shoulders from trying to keep Little Z in one place. Any attempt to do so simply encouraged him to act like a rag doll and flop to the ground, giggle and lie down.

After a game of impromptu game of hide and seek amongst the clothes rails we decided it was time to leave.

Thankfully we made it out with my head just about in tact and vowed never to visit the Trafford centre again on a Saturday with a 3 year old. Unless they start paying me for having squeaky clean floors.


  1. brummymummyof2 May 5, 2014 / 7:08 am

    Oh gosh I have all this to come. My girl is such a lovely girly girl and always in dresses and pretty shoes. My boy? Loves mud and sticks and he is not even 16mths yet!!! WHY! I have stopped even putting him in trousers anymore in the garden xxx
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  2. Sarah MumofThree World May 5, 2014 / 7:24 am

    Oh dear! Sounds like a nightmare (although quite funny too!). The Trafford Centre is probably not the best place for it, to be fair. I swore several years ago never go to The Trafford Centre again, full stop. And I didn’t have a knee-skidding pre-schooler with me.
    Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…How does your garden grow? Like wildfire!My Profile

  3. Sian May 5, 2014 / 1:20 pm

    Ahh – I’m going through the same thing. It’s happening most often in the supermarket – and why wouldn’t it with their super slidey floors?!


    (Elbow-knee patches are the way forward. They definitely need to exist.)
    Sian recently posted…Yummy in my tummy.My Profile

  4. Kriss MacDonald May 5, 2014 / 4:09 pm

    Hehe – I can just imagine Little Z sliding around on his knees a la Patrick Swayze. And here’s me writing this comment wearing jeans with very large splits in the knees!
    Kriss MacDonald recently posted…Google Plus Hopscotch MayMy Profile

  5. Mhairi Little Hands May 5, 2014 / 5:02 pm

    Oh I have a boy who loves to drop to his knees and slide at every opportunity. He’s nearly 7 and still doing it! Thankfully he prefers tracksuit bottoms though. x
    Mhairi Little Hands recently posted…Soft Pretzel RingsMy Profile

  6. Charly Dove May 5, 2014 / 6:22 pm

    He’s such a dude isn’t he! I can just imagine Z sliding round on the floor, it’s probably really good fun though. POD went through a phase of doing that, she’s now moved onto jumping – the higher the better! Lovely post, thank you so much for sharing #whatsthestory
    Charly Dove recently posted…Photos from the beachMy Profile

  7. Sara (@mumturnedmom) May 5, 2014 / 9:17 pm

    Brilliant! I love the image of Little Z sliding along πŸ™‚ Thankfully I seemed to escape this phase, and have only seen a couple of pairs of the boys trousers go through in the knee… The wee girl on the other hand… πŸ™‚
    Sara (@mumturnedmom) recently posted…Welcome Home DaddyMy Profile

  8. Emma T May 5, 2014 / 10:06 pm

    We have the same issue in shopping centres. Just loves being on his knees.

    Knee pads – you can get them for dancing, although probably not in child size! Someone at work was talking about patching his jeans (on the inside) when he wanted to wear them for longer. I can’t imagine wearing patched jeans as an adult.
    Emma T recently posted…300 Picture book challenge week 18My Profile

  9. Sam @ And then the fun began... May 5, 2014 / 10:15 pm

    My four year old has about 1 pair of trousers in 6 which doesn’ have a big rip in the knees. Doesn’t look like his little brother will be getting any more hand me downs at this rate! Good luck with finding a solution! #Wha’tstheStory
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  10. Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) May 6, 2014 / 7:39 am

    All of my son’s jeans have holes in the knees. I kid you not. I have new 2 ones and the knees are showing wear & tear already. I have 3 going on 4 year old boy and he loves that sliding too.
    Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) recently posted…Bristol Food FestivalMy Profile

  11. Donna@MummyCentral May 6, 2014 / 10:34 am

    Oh dear. I’d suggest keeping the jeans with the holes in the knees for him to wear around the house – patch them up if necessary so he can skid around on them all he likes. Save the “good” trousers for when you’re out in public.
    Donna@MummyCentral recently posted…Our family holiday in EgyptMy Profile

  12. Sonya Cisco May 6, 2014 / 10:50 am

    I need to get better at sewing, my ten year old goes through the knees on his jeans weekly, I will soon need a loan just to keep buying jeans, so I better learn how to darn fast!
    Sonya Cisco recently posted…All The Small Things – Jelly and PooMy Profile

  13. Jude May 6, 2014 / 10:48 pm

    He he he, I can so imagine this, my boy is the same. Not great for the trousers but you gotta love their moves! Super cool!
    Jude recently posted…Kids Party SOSMy Profile

  14. Not a frumpy mum May 7, 2014 / 7:01 am

    You were brave even attempting to shop at the trafford centre on a Saturday, let alone with a toddler. At the moment jeans don’t last in our house because they are very quickly grass stained πŸ™
    Not a frumpy mum recently posted…Wakey Wakey, Rise and Shine!My Profile

  15. Iona@Redpeffer May 7, 2014 / 8:03 am

    I learnt very early on that doing pretty much any kind of shopping with a toddler is a deeply stressful experience for me and one I avoid if at all possible! Short trips are fine, but I daren’t linger for even a nanosecond. And my son loved bouncing on his knees for a good few months, fortunately he’s stopped it now thank goodness.
    Deep breaths πŸ™‚
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  16. Seychellesmama May 7, 2014 / 8:53 am

    Haha I have to say this image is pretty funny, although that’s probably because we aren’t there yet!! I guess I’ve just ruined any chance of sympathy when we do get there now though!!!! X
    Seychellesmama recently posted…Me timeMy Profile

  17. Mel May 7, 2014 / 10:18 am

    Oh dear, that’s a funny turn! Let’s hope he grows out of this phase soon. You have to get this caught on video before he stops (should be fairly easy if he does it 4 times an hour, hihi). Mel #ShareWithMe

  18. Rocknrollerbaby May 7, 2014 / 1:39 pm

    You should hire him out to weddings when they don’t have a child to perform such antics! There should ALWAYS be a little boy sliding on the dance floor on his knees at a wedding! πŸ™‚

  19. Jenny May 7, 2014 / 2:51 pm

    Wow you are ever so brave to go to the Mall with a toddler on a Saturday. Good on you. Challenge. hahaha Glad you made it out safely. Hhaah I love kids and the funny things they do as toddlers. So funny. Jeans I don’t think go with a toddler Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. #sharewithme
    Jenny recently posted…Share With Me ~ wk 14My Profile

  20. Debra May 9, 2014 / 6:49 am

    Trousers with holes in the knees are a must have fashion statement in our house at the moment. Why walk anywhere when you can do all this other stuff, right? I bet your son is great fun on the dance floor at a wedding πŸ™‚
    Debra recently posted…10 top links for an organised kitchenMy Profile

  21. Super Busy Mum {Debs} May 9, 2014 / 10:17 am

    Oh I have a 5 & an 8 yr old who {if I would let them} would power slide EVERYWHERE! So I feel your pain! lol #ordinarymoments
    Super Busy Mum {Debs} recently posted…Birthday shopping!My Profile

  22. Emma Lander May 9, 2014 / 4:08 pm

    hehehe what a funny post, maybe you should get some knee pads or, even better, knee pads with dusters attached so the floor can be cleaned too-winner πŸ˜‰

  23. lorna mai May 9, 2014 / 4:09 pm

    Bless him, he sounds like a character! Children find a way of entertaining themselves and I’m sure you wouldn’t have him any other way. It’s funny how little girls don’t do things like that?! Maybe buy lots of cheap jeans! Love your comical writing style! #PoCoLo
    lorna mai recently posted…Smarten Check Shirts And Look Less Like A StudentMy Profile

  24. Mama Undone May 10, 2014 / 4:03 pm

    What is it with little boys? They can skid, slide, jump, run but WALK? actual everyday average normal walking? No chance!

  25. Loving life with little ones May 10, 2014 / 6:25 pm

    I have two little girls who do very little sliding around but even their trousers seem to rip at the knees! knee patches could be the next craze, you’d better start designing some. #sharewithme
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  26. KidGLloves May 11, 2014 / 4:22 pm

    Lucas says – he he he – I do this all the time. Awesome and it does wind up the Mother too!!! *High-5’s*
    KidGLloves recently posted…Silent Sunday and My Sunday PhotoMy Profile

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