So here’s what my 3 and a half year old has been saying recently…
On not wanting to go to his superhero party…
Z: But I don’t like superman. I want to wear my bus top. I don’t want to be a superhero.
(After running around Toys R us the day before panic buying the outfit and then shifting work about to drop him off he was definitely going. After a 30 minute battle to get him into it and, probably earning an early morning wrath from the sleeping neighbours, he eventually discovered the cape would fly behind him if he ran up and down the street. Anytime a neighbour asked how Superman was that morning he replied “No” rather grumpily. Grumpy loved his party though after all that.
He has taken to retorting “fine” anytime he realises he has to do something he doesn’t want to. I definitely don’t know where he’s picked that up from…
Me: Little Z why are you acting like a teenager?
Z: I don’t know what that word means
On trying to slip away for a 2 minute comfort break…
Z: Where you going Mummy?
Me: To the toilet?
Z: Shall I help you?
Me: No it’s ok…
Z: I need to help you!
Cue trying to get into the bath / fill it with bubbles / brushing his teeth
Discovering silver linings in every situation…
Me: Brush your teeth
Z: My toothpaste isn’t stripey.
Me: [Carefully puts stripey toothpaste on]
Z: I need red one….
Me: [Tries to squeeze out a bit more Aquafresh]
Z: [3 seconds of brushing] I finished!
Me: You need to brush properly, I’ll help you…
Z: No My DO IT!
[10 more minutes of this…]
Z: I finished!
Me: If you don’t brush properly your teeth will fall out.
Z: Then tooth fairy come?
Me: How do you know about the tooth fairy?
Z: [Silence and all knowing grin]
On seeing the Maltese advert where the guy does the straw thing…
Z: Let’s do that!!
Z: [Running to the kitchen to fetch his props] Come on mummy!!
OH: [Runs after him] I want a go!
It took about 10 minutes with all 3 of us trying to stop maltesers rolling about all over the place or melting. I am very pleased to say I did it first!
Z: Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to my magic show! You have to clap now.
[obedient clapping from the mummy and daddy audience]
Then everything gets turned into a frog. I think maybe we need to watch a bit less of Nanny Plum in our house for a bit.