The Lies We Tell – AKA Excellent Parenting Advice

As parents there are numerous times during the day you will be presented with moments where excellent parenting needs to kick in. The need to instil lessons that will stay with our children for a lifetime. The importance of teaching right from wrong. The little principles we should be ingraining into their little impressionable minds. There are also times when it is essential to stand firm and explain why your child can’t do something that’s not good for them.

It is possible that, as parents, we start to use little white lies. Ones that are essential at that point in time for the well being of their future. For example….

On explaining the importance of good healthy diet.
Little Z: Mummy can we get chips from Old McDonalds
Me: Ummm…Maybe not today…
Little Z: But whyyyyyy?
Me: Because its closed.
Little Z: But whyy?
Me: Err….Because some naughty little boy broke it and now he’s going to get in trouble from his mummy so its not going to open again.
Little Z: ………Ok then.

On encouraging child to eat 3 square meals a day every day…
Little Z: I don’t like my fishfingers
Me: Ok I’m going to give them to Daddy
Little Z: No I want them…
Me: Oh I don’t know…Don’t tell Daddy then
Little Z: Ok, shall I make them disappear in my mouth?
Me: Good plan!

On getting child to sit in a car seat at appropriate speed to go to the supermarket (i.e. less than 10 minutes)
Little Z: But I want to look at the horn / random thing on the floor, leaves / mushroom / the neighbours
Me: Pleeeeease get in the car seat, we’re going to be late!
Little Z: But I’m smelling the flowers…you smell Mummy.
Me: Ok you smell the flowers and I’ll go to Aunty P’s house
Little Z: I coming! *Rushes into car seat*

On explaining to child about why noisy toys and the appropriate volume to play them at within the house.
Little Z: Where’s my (extra loud) keyboard, car, drum set, recorder
Me: Ummm….
Little Z: But I need to play my (extra loud) toy / flute / car / drums
Me: I think the hairdryer took it….
Little Z: Oh ok….Shall we go out?
Me: Yes!

Of course it is entirely plausible that the lies we tell transform, exponentially, from little white lies into huge fantastical lies. Colourful stories spun on the spur of the moment. It is probably at this stage parenting advice may need to be reviewed. Slightly.


29 Comments

  1. Sarah MumofThree World September 29, 2014 / 6:33 am

    These are great! The ‘hairdryer took it’ was clearly the work of a desperate woman!
    Even now, my daughter can be persuaded to do pretty much anything in return for a trip out, even a really mundane one!
    Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…Almighty rowMy Profile

    • Notmyyearoff September 29, 2014 / 1:43 pm

      We don’t use the hairdryer one anymore as he won’t believe us but it was really popular for a while 🙂

  2. The Mummy Diary September 29, 2014 / 6:46 am

    Brilliant, my son calls it Old Mcdonalds as well, I have been in every one of these situations, i’m so glad i’m not alone 😉 Lovely post, aren’t kids just the best #magicmoments
    The Mummy Diary recently posted…Visiting the Major OakMy Profile

    • Notmyyearoff September 29, 2014 / 1:45 pm

      They really are the best!

  3. Yvette September 29, 2014 / 7:15 am

    Haha at the hairdryer took it! I am so using that one 🙂 I told my nephew soft play was closed last week due to a broken slide as I really couldn’t face it on a weekend. Felt quite guilty about fibbing though but it was a necessary evil! #magicmoments
    Yvette recently posted…Suburban Fairy TaleMy Profile

    • Notmyyearoff September 29, 2014 / 1:54 pm

      Oh soft play at a weekend is like the ultimate test of patience. I’ve had to crawl to the top of it many a time to drag Little Z back out again.

  4. Jollyjillys September 29, 2014 / 7:30 am

    Lol I so remember those days of thinking on my feet !

  5. Pinkoddy September 29, 2014 / 9:38 am

    Is interesting to read as I have to admit we try to avoid lies (apart from you know Father Christmas, tooth fairies and the like). I bet though, reading these I lie more than I thought I did. These are very humorous examples.
    Pinkoddy recently posted…Speaking and ListeningMy Profile

  6. suzanne3childrenandit September 29, 2014 / 10:54 am

    Oh this was me when my children were younger – totally! However as they’ve got older, I’ve had to revise my behaviour….mainly because they don’t believe me any more! But also because I’m aware that I’m encouraging bad habits in them too. Great post!
    suzanne3childrenandit recently posted…Double FiguresMy Profile

  7. Mummy Tries September 29, 2014 / 1:09 pm

    Another fab post Tas! I often sneakily get rid of the really annoying toys and give them to the charity shop but sometimes my 5yo catches me out!!
    Mummy Tries recently posted…Review: eFrame.co.ukMy Profile

  8. sandy September 29, 2014 / 2:01 pm

    LOL.
    One day mine will work out that the music playing on the ice cream van doesn’t really mean it’s run out…

  9. Sara (@mumturnedmom) September 29, 2014 / 6:53 pm

    Love it! Sadly it’s getting harder for me to get away with this… I have no chance with the 8yo and the 5yo is pretty sceptical most of the time… So the wee girl cottons on quickly! The hair dryer took it is particularly inspired 🙂
    Sara (@mumturnedmom) recently posted…Me and: the Museum of Fine ArtsMy Profile

  10. Erica Price September 30, 2014 / 1:46 pm

    The hairdresser took it? Amazing what they will believe. H has now become sceptical, he won’t believe some of the stuff we tell that is true.
    Erica Price recently posted…Learning ItalianMy Profile

  11. Life at the Little Wood October 1, 2014 / 11:42 am

    Hee hee, what GREAT advice! My children are a bit older, but I’m still totally milking their gullibility for as long as possible (the ice cream van still only plays music when it’s out of service, don’t you know?! 😉 ) xxx #sharewithme
    Life at the Little Wood recently posted…Birthday Treats…My Profile

  12. Jenny October 1, 2014 / 10:16 pm

    I love this so true too. I make up fibs all the time and the sillier the better. Buba seems to just accept what I say but in reality I am laughing my head off. At least we are all entertained. A little fib never hurt a child. lol Love your mcdys one! haha Thanks for linking up to Share With Me. I hope to see you again soon. #sharewithme
    Jenny recently posted…Fizzy Lemon Cocktail RecipeMy Profile

  13. Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) October 2, 2014 / 8:41 am

    Goodness this is the only way that I can get my son to eat as well. The competition for him and his Daddy to eat the last bit is tight =P #magicmoments
    Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) recently posted…JammingMy Profile

  14. Louisa October 2, 2014 / 11:42 am

    Super post. I had to lie this morning and say the tooth fairy was on holiday. I have forgot her visits so many times that I have a stock pile of lies to suit the occasion, although to be fair it’s surprising that a 10 year old still believes. Unless he is lying to me so that the fairy will still leave him some money…
    Louisa recently posted…Adhesions following abdominal surgeryMy Profile

  15. Katie October 4, 2014 / 9:41 pm

    Ahh love this Tas, so funny! I think we need to get away with it while we can – they won’t be all sweet and innocent for long! x
    Katie recently posted…Life with boltersMy Profile

  16. Jaime Oliver October 5, 2014 / 3:08 pm

    *snort* i love his thinking! … i also love the he calls Mac D’s Old McDonalds .. Joshua does too!

    thanks for linking up with #MagicMoments
    Jaime Oliver recently posted…Silent Sunday 5/10/14My Profile

  17. Hayley @hayleyfromhome October 6, 2014 / 10:12 am

    I love this, ‘the hairdryer took it’ has to be my favourite, haha! Don’t you find yourself saying the most random things to just appease them? We won’t get away with it for much longer 🙂
    Hayley @hayleyfromhome recently posted…Living ArrowsMy Profile

  18. Colette B October 6, 2014 / 7:45 pm

    The right I’m going without you is definitely a firm favourite in our house!
    Colette B recently posted…Our school runMy Profile

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