This week I had the dreaded glucose tolerance test and I forgot how looooong and boring the whole thing is. I was contemplating taking Little Z with me but so glad I didn’t now. He would have been bouncing off the walls after the first hour. I was pretty tempted to do the same after the second hour. I think I was ready for a nap but the third and was glad to be out of there by the fourth. Unfortunately I got a phone call the very next day from a nurse telling me my sugar levels are way too high and that I urgently need to go back in a few days. I was so surprised, as it was fine in my last pregnancy, I forgot to ask if there’s anything I should do in the meantime. So I’ve been reading up on gestational diabetes and apparently it can be common and can disappear once the baby is born. Of course it may hang around for good and, with Type 2 diabetes in the family, it’s something I may be at higher risk from. So for now I am banned from sweets and naughty sugary things. It could also mean even more scans. And more juggling of everything.
The baby seems very happy otherwise, continuing to party the night away and kicking all over the place. It’s following the same pattern Little Z did and I think that means I tend to give birth to night owls that don’t like to sleep. Uh oh.
I am still on the worlds longest nesting marathon. I have made so much space I probably won’t know what to do with it all but I am really really looking forward to a trip to IKEA soon to buy all manners of storage. Its my most favourite thing to look at right now. Under bed storage, baskets, vacuum pack bags, pretty rectangle boxes, pretty hat boxes, bliss! If anyone has any ideas on how to make the most of the space in a couple of tall boy style cupboards then please let me know. That is my current quandary! Once that’s done I’m starting on the kitchen cupboards.
Apparently around now is the time pregnant ladies start getting a bit anxious about the future and that’s pretty spot on for me. When Little Z came along life was full of wonderful things to look forward to. A new baby to us meant nothing but excitement and cuteness was to follow. First time parenting is pretty magical and delusional all at once and I think there is no ignorance like it. You have no idea what’s about to hit you (with all the force of a speeding train) and you simply skip into it joyfully. Until you find yourself bang in the midst of it sobbing from the sleepless nights. At the same time the mental and emotional change is overwhelming. You love this little thing more than anything and anyone else in the entire world. They pip your other half, your friends, your siblings, your parents, everyone, to the post and instantly become the absolute most important thing in your life. The mother tiger instinct takes over and you would think nothing of scratching someone’s eyeballs out if they hurt your child. You protect and cocoon them every step of the way and they are your precious. Eventually you get used to letting this piece of your heart go exploring the world without you.
So how on earth do you love another baby just as much? Surely there is a favourite, right? The history and bonding with your first born. Can that be replicated all over again? Is it magical and all embracing, overwhelming. Or do you kind of just slot them in and do your best, trying to balance both and be fair between them? Of course you love them as they’re a part of you but I can’t really get my head around it just yet. Two pieces of you going walkies around the world, just as precious as each other? Or does it just happen and you just have to change your emotional mindset all over again? Pregnancy insomnia has a lot to answer for, all that thinking time! For now, I am hoping for a bolt of lightning to just take over when the time comes.