The Rules for Visiting a Newborn

Visiting a newborn - the rules

Little Baby E is now 2 weeks old and we’ve had a steady stream of visitors some days and the odd manic day when we’ve had surprised guests most of the day. There’s been presents galore both for Baby and Little Z. It’s so nice people have thought of him. I have to admit it’s not something I’ve thought of doing before now (but I vow, from this day forth to remember the siblings…etc etc). Occasionally my mind has wandered and I find myself thinking wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could pin up some rules on my front door when visiting a newborn? I reckon they’d go something like this.


Thank you so much for popping by to see new Baby E. Here are some rules we have thrown together for your visit for when visiting our newborn:

Please give us a tiny bit of notice you’re coming. It’s not that we’re screening our visitors (well, ok, sometimes we are but) the house is likely to be a humongous tip and that notice period means we can shove everything into cupboards, the conservatory and into corners you won’t go into. It’ll make us look at least a little bit competent. And it means one or both of us can throw some much needed concealor on so that we don’t open the door looking like zombies.

The correct greeting once you walk in is that we both look fabulous and the baby is absolutely thriving. We are smart enough to know you’ll be lying very kindly but zonked enough to appreciate the white lie. Oh and you could also add that I don’t look like I’ve had a baby. I’m tired, I’ll take any compliments right now.

Please don’t ask if the baby sleeps through the night, ever, but especially when he’s less than two weeks old. I’m pretty sure that’s impossible. Also, don’t tell me about how you know someone whose baby slept through the night as soon as they were born or indeed that ALL of your kids did. I don’t think I believe you and I will be forced to kick your arse in my sleep deprived state, most likely in the style of 1960’s Batman. (Think KERRANG!! WALLOP! Etc). If you see me gazing into space with a small smile on my face then I will most likely be kicking your backside, in my head. If you see me throwing my head back and laughing manically then maybe offer to take the baby whilst I sleep for a while. Like, a week.

You may bring food if you wish. It’s not mandatory at all though I do absolutely love hearty pies right now with it being autumn. Oh and cake. Anything for the freezer is good too but you should know my mum went slightly bonkers on it and we have no space at all now. I really don’t mind if you don’t bring anything. Just don’t ask me if I’ve started getting into a routine and cooking again. I haven’t. One look at my kitchen will tell you that.

You’ll find we keep repeating ourselves. We haven’t been out properly in a few weeks and not very sure what’s going on in the world. Please humour us and laugh enthusiastically each time we repeatedly talk about how the baby is so adorable and has discovered his hands for the first time last week and tried to latch onto it. We do plan on going out properly very soon. This baby bubble is very lovely though for now. It’s probably why we look so tired, we need some sunlight. We’ve watched a heck of a lot of Homes under the Hammer, we could probably talk about that if you like? We *will* throw you out if you mention Loose Women. What the heck is that waste of time about?

If you’re still waiting on our doorstep then please, feel free to come in. We’d love to see you!!


  1. Mummy Tries October 3, 2015 / 10:15 am

    You should make this into a card Tas, and send it to everyone planning to visit so they stick to the rules 😉 people bringing food is by far my favourite new born gift. Hope all’s going well. I bet you look fabulous xx
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  2. Honest Mum October 3, 2015 / 1:33 pm

    Oh huge congrats again darling, such a cutie and this, this post should be printed out and handed out in hospitals or sent to visitors pre-visits the world over. Why oh why does anyone ask if a newborn sleeps through, it would be unhealthy if he did. Food is always a must in my opinion, edible treats too please. Are you enjoying sweet everything again? x
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  3. Kim Carberry October 3, 2015 / 8:44 pm

    hehehe! Aww! Bless you! I think everyone in the world should have a copy of this! I hope everything is going ok x
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  4. Sarah MumofThree World October 3, 2015 / 9:13 pm

    Love this! It’s absolutely obligatory that visitors always tell the mum how good she is looking. Who on earth asks if the baby sleeps through the night? Maybe bring the subject up when he’s a year, but not until then!
    Hope everything is still going well for you.
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  5. Hayley (@hayleyfromhome) October 4, 2015 / 1:26 pm

    Perfect rules…I thought that second time round we wouldn’t have as many visitors but I was definitely wrong. As lovely as it is I still had days where I just thought ‘leave us alone!!!!’ Also, as a mum now anyone who turns up without some form of food, who are they kidding?! Always, always take cake to a lady who has just had a baby. I’m sure that you do look fabulous anyway, enjoy the baby bubble xx
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  6. Suzanne3ChildrenandIt October 4, 2015 / 6:53 pm

    I hope that you’ve shared this with every one of your friends and family Tas who will be beating down the door to visit your newborn baby! One of my besties had a baby on Friday evening and I just popped in for a quick cuddle this morning – but I did make sure I told her first! I do hope that was ok 😉 x
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  7. Sarah Christie October 4, 2015 / 9:36 pm

    Ha ha I love it, all you want is to rest after the trauma of birth and yet you are on full pelt entertaining mode, yes these are your nearest a dearest but I still remember being so exhausted and just wanting to sleep x
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  8. Louise October 7, 2015 / 8:57 pm

    Oh that’s brilliant – definitely very good advice for visitors in the newborn days. Especially not asking about if the baby sleeps through the night. Such an unrealistic thing to ask so early on and I do love the comment about mentally thinking about kicking person who made said comment up the backside. Bringing cake sounds like a very good plan. Hope you are not struggling too much with the sleep deprivation (definitely the hardest thing about those early days) and are enjoying lots of snuggles.
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  9. charlotte October 9, 2015 / 3:02 pm

    I don’t think I could cope with visitors turning up unannounced! As we have recently moved and not many people have our new address it means we get some notice. The place is still a mess when they come but it is not as bad as it would be if they just turned up. Hope you are all doing well! xxx
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  10. older mum in a muddle October 11, 2015 / 10:22 am

    This so brought back memories….. that visiting phase – and all in the first week when you are absolutely shell shocked. I had people telling me – ‘gosh you look tired’ – WOW!? Really?! And the whole sleeping through thing – purlease….. well done again on your beautiful new bundle. X
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