Little Baby E is now 2 weeks old and we’ve had a steady stream of visitors some days and the odd manic day when we’ve had surprised guests most of the day. There’s been presents galore both for Baby and Little Z. It’s so nice people have thought of him. I have to admit it’s not something I’ve thought of doing before now (but I vow, from this day forth to remember the siblings…etc etc). Occasionally my mind has wandered and I find myself thinking wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could pin up some rules on my front door when visiting a newborn? I reckon they’d go something like this.
Thank you so much for popping by to see new Baby E. Here are some rules we have thrown together for your visit for when visiting our newborn:
Please give us a tiny bit of notice you’re coming. It’s not that we’re screening our visitors (well, ok, sometimes we are but) the house is likely to be a humongous tip and that notice period means we can shove everything into cupboards, the conservatory and into corners you won’t go into. It’ll make us look at least a little bit competent. And it means one or both of us can throw some much needed concealor on so that we don’t open the door looking like zombies.
The correct greeting once you walk in is that we both look fabulous and the baby is absolutely thriving. We are smart enough to know you’ll be lying very kindly but zonked enough to appreciate the white lie. Oh and you could also add that I don’t look like I’ve had a baby. I’m tired, I’ll take any compliments right now.
Please don’t ask if the baby sleeps through the night, ever, but especially when he’s less than two weeks old. I’m pretty sure that’s impossible. Also, don’t tell me about how you know someone whose baby slept through the night as soon as they were born or indeed that ALL of your kids did. I don’t think I believe you and I will be forced to kick your arse in my sleep deprived state, most likely in the style of 1960’s Batman. (Think KERRANG!! WALLOP! Etc). If you see me gazing into space with a small smile on my face then I will most likely be kicking your backside, in my head. If you see me throwing my head back and laughing manically then maybe offer to take the baby whilst I sleep for a while. Like, a week.
You may bring food if you wish. It’s not mandatory at all though I do absolutely love hearty pies right now with it being autumn. Oh and cake. Anything for the freezer is good too but you should know my mum went slightly bonkers on it and we have no space at all now. I really don’t mind if you don’t bring anything. Just don’t ask me if I’ve started getting into a routine and cooking again. I haven’t. One look at my kitchen will tell you that.
You’ll find we keep repeating ourselves. We haven’t been out properly in a few weeks and not very sure what’s going on in the world. Please humour us and laugh enthusiastically each time we repeatedly talk about how the baby is so adorable and has discovered his hands for the first time last week and tried to latch onto it. We do plan on going out properly very soon. This baby bubble is very lovely though for now. It’s probably why we look so tired, we need some sunlight. We’ve watched a heck of a lot of Homes under the Hammer, we could probably talk about that if you like? We *will* throw you out if you mention Loose Women. What the heck is that waste of time about?
If you’re still waiting on our doorstep then please, feel free to come in. We’d love to see you!!