The judgey couple

On a recent lunch date with a lovely friend we decided it would be nice to drive into the depths of Yorkshire and visit a pretty little place in a pretty little hamlet.  It was a place she’d discovered on her travels. It looked more than 500 years old, had a huge open fire and made those delicious home cooked meals that people were obviously travelling far and wide for.  It also looks very popular with couples and groups in the week days.   One of those couples were seated across from us and saw us arrive with a buggy and baby in tow.

They must have been late 60s and looked like they were staring for a brief while at us then discussing their observations with each other.  They looked back over and observed some more, eyeing up the baby, the buggy and back to the baby.  Uh oh.  I hoped Baby E would behave himself.  Of course he read my mind and started grizzling to be let out at once so he could have a good nosey at everything.  Thankfully he was most pleased at escaping his car seat, his little head darting about like a meerkat.  The couple looked over again.  Arrrgh. 

Eventually I caught the lady’s eye and she opened her mouth to say something.  Uh oh, what could it be that had her starting at the baby so much?  She opened her mouth and it all came out…

“We just can’t stop staring at your buggy! The things they can do these days.  Those wheels and that car seat with the air bags!”

All this time they had been amazed by the advances in travel systems.  They hadn’t been bothered or paranoid by the baby one bit!  They commented on how good he was and we talked about how old he was, if he was good generally, friendly baby chit chat. Mr stare a lot briefly reminisced about parenting their own brood many years ago.  They left with one last look at the baby and the travel system they were so fascinated by.  

So, the moral of this mini story is that, more often than not, those you think that are judging you, aren’t judging you.  Or your baby.  In fact, sometimes they’re admiring something you never even thought would attract any attention.  So enjoy the long overdue chat with your friend wholeheartedly, as well as your sticky toffee pudding with the hot caramel sauce. 



Post linked up to Project 366 / Project 53 and My Sunday Photo. Thanks for reading!

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  1. Sarah MumofThree World January 23, 2016 / 10:07 pm

    That’s lovely! It’s understandable you were feeling a bit uncomfortable, so it’s lovely that they were just interested in E – and his travel system!
    The pudding looks delicious 🙂
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  2. Jenny Paulin January 23, 2016 / 10:41 pm

    i LOVE sticky toffee pudding and if it is on a menu i will always try to make room for one. I love that it was your buggy they were more interested in than your baby!! made me smile x
    Jenny Paulin recently posted…Project 366, 2016. Week 3My Profile

  3. Tim January 24, 2016 / 12:14 am

    What a lovely little story! It’s horrible to feel you’re being judged or somehow looked down upon, so for this to have been such an innocuous and pleasant encounter must have put a smile on your face (it has on mine).
    Tim recently posted…My Sunday Photo: Pick-up lineMy Profile

  4. Suzanne3childrenandit January 24, 2016 / 12:20 am

    It’s funny how we jump to conclusions isn’t it? I think we all do that to an extent. I try to remind myself of your ‘moral’ nowadays. I would much rather think good things about people than bad. I think we sometimes write a whole story in our heads when we actually no nothing at all about it!
    Suzanne3childrenandit recently posted…Photo of the Week 4 / A StillnessMy Profile

  5. Coombemill January 24, 2016 / 12:41 am

    So pleased it was an innocent stare and yum to that pudding.

  6. Erica Price January 24, 2016 / 7:08 am

    A lovely story and it just goes to show we can all be a bit paranoid sometimes and a lot of it is probably unnecessary.
    Erica Price recently posted…Week 3 of 2016My Profile

  7. Becky Cowley January 24, 2016 / 7:46 am

    I love this story. I’m really understanding at the moment m that people are generally good, it’s a shame not so nice people are the ones that only seem to get any air time. Thank you for sharing this lovely encounter. Cake looks fantastic too xx

  8. Brooke January 24, 2016 / 8:38 am

    That is an awesome story (i agree, all too often mom’s are quick to feel judged and get offended), but an even awesome-er looking dessert! I love hot fudge brownie sundaes and it looks like the caramel is bubbling.
    Brooke recently posted…Silent SundayMy Profile

  9. Jenni - Odd Socks and Lollipops January 24, 2016 / 10:40 am

    It’s really uncomfortable when you feel like you are being judged, I am glad that it turned out to be something nice in the end! And that cakes looks yummy!

  10. Single Mother Ahoy January 24, 2016 / 10:41 am

    A jealousy-inducing photo and a great story. I think if we’re feeling uneasy about whether our children will behave, we’re sort of on guard, waiting for people to pass judgement. How funny that they were talking about the buggy though!

  11. Morgan Prince January 24, 2016 / 12:36 pm

    Aw how lovely! I think it’s great you got to talk to them and it was all so nice! That pudding looks yummy. 🙂

  12. Verily Victoria Vocalises January 24, 2016 / 12:54 pm

    It is such a shame that the nature of things these days is to automatically go on the defensive. I do that too! That couple sound lovely – I usually find that the older ones are 🙂 That pudding looks amazing #mysundayphoto
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  13. Brinabird the wee man and the diva January 24, 2016 / 1:21 pm

    Yeah I would have been staring at that pudding thinking that’s what I am going to have!

  14. Ojo Henley January 24, 2016 / 4:52 pm

    I’m always the one staring haha. I love babies, I will always smile though, just to show I’m not judging x

  15. Rachel In Real Life January 24, 2016 / 5:50 pm

    I am the same, always ready to be on the defensive and assume that people are judging me, in reality they’re probably not at all. I should probably start giving my fellow humans more credit!
    Rachel In Real Life recently posted…Project 366 ~ Week 3My Profile

  16. chickenruby January 24, 2016 / 5:54 pm

    how lovely of them. I’m afraid I shy away from engaging people when out with their babies as there is an assumption that us adults without kids are going to judge and so often the parent with the child isolates themselves from possible conversation just in case the other adult is going to be judgemental
    chickenruby recently posted…My Sunday Photo – Week 56My Profile

  17. Karen January 24, 2016 / 5:57 pm

    I was getting all bristly at the start of your post at the thought of judgy people but I’m glad it all worked out nicely and they were lovely! That pudding looks amazing!!
    Karen recently posted…Our week in photos – the hamster escaped! My Profile

  18. Elaine Livingstone January 24, 2016 / 7:22 pm

    Usually babies do attract attention, by their very nature they are cute.. Yes prams have come a long way since my kids were young, but have to say loved my coach built.
    Elaine Livingstone recently posted…Project 366 week 3My Profile

  19. Californian Mum in London January 24, 2016 / 7:53 pm

    Yes, we often expect the older generation to grumble about us and our noisy little ones. So nice when they prove us wrong.
    Californian Mum in London recently posted…My BoyMy Profile

  20. 76sunflowers January 24, 2016 / 8:27 pm

    If I was there I’d be staring at your delicious looking pudding! I was all ready there for a depressing post so am glad it all turned out well – I bit the travel systems are super whizzy now compared to when my two were ickle!
    76sunflowers recently posted…Project 366 2016 #3My Profile

  21. tracey at Mummyshire January 24, 2016 / 9:14 pm

    I know I’d be thinking the same as you, all along, so how great that they were actually thinking and being positive! As for your pudding – who doesn’t love Sticky Toffee pudding!
    tracey at Mummyshire recently posted…Sunday Photo 24 January 2016My Profile

  22. Neesie January 24, 2016 / 10:33 pm

    Oooh sticky toffee pudding… my favourite.
    I had a similar little story from many years ago when my daughter (who is now 30) was a tiny tot in her pushchair. An old lady was walking along side for quite some way even though I tried to move across to let her pass etc. She then stopped me… I wondered what she would say and she just congratulated me on doing such a great job… having my daughter so well dressed, clean and myself looking well groomed, so early in the morning. She said she knew that wasn’t easy and it takes such a lot of effort to do that.
    I was completed taken by surprise… and remember it so well to this day. Kind words indeed to a struggling new Mum. I always try to do similar if I get a chance.
    Thanks for bringing back that great memory! (sorry I’ve nattered on here) ;D
    Neesie recently posted…My Sunday Photo… MelbourneMy Profile

  23. Katie @mummydaddyme January 25, 2016 / 6:32 pm

    Ah this is lovely! Just goes to show you shouldn’t always assume people are thinking the worst of you, which is something I do a lot! x

  24. Tracey Williams January 26, 2016 / 1:37 pm

    Aw this is a lovely story and I must admit I feel this way about travel systems as its been 10 years since I last had a baby and things have moved on so much in that time, so no wonder they were staring in awe. Bless them x

  25. Jane @ northernmum January 26, 2016 / 9:27 pm

    Wise words mrs!!!!

    although I am sure when I take my brood out they realy do judge on table manners!

  26. Mummy of Two + 1 January 27, 2016 / 10:12 am

    You are so right. I think it is easy to think the worst of people. I had this once where we were constantly getting looks but, before the couple left the cafe, they came over and told us what well behaved children we had!
    Mummy of Two + 1 recently posted…Finding Relaxation in Family Life – A Guest PostMy Profile

  27. Hayley (@hayleyfromhome) January 28, 2016 / 1:05 pm

    This has made me want to run out and buy sticky toffee pudding! Haha, you are so right though I think we always jump to defend our own insecurities before thinking it through. I have a friend who is a young single mum and she always worries about what people think of her, I’ve told her most of her worries are the same things I worry about yet most of the time people don’t even bat an eyelid!
    Hayley (@hayleyfromhome) recently posted…Little Adventurer – Boy’s BedroomMy Profile

  28. Izzie Anderton January 28, 2016 / 2:13 pm

    This is such a lovely story… it’s so easy to jump to conclusions isn’t it! I think I’d find the latest travel systems for babies rather intriguing as well – it’s 20 years since I was pushing my daughters around!
    Izzie Anderton recently posted…The Week That Was… 25th January 2016My Profile

  29. Kara January 31, 2016 / 7:32 am

    Oh my, that dessert looks amazing. Love your story – I used to be randomly stopped with my pushchair to ask what it was
    Kara recently posted…Silent Sunday – 31st January 2016My Profile

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