Everyone knows about the 3 trimesters of pregnancy, especially if you happen to be going through it all. Not so long ago, it emerged (theoretically) that there’s actually a fourth trimester; the first 3 months once the baby has been born. The theory states that its the period of time baby is adjusting to their brand new world and why they still want to be very much still connected and close to their mums. You can understand it; being ejected from the womb after 9 months must definitely take some adjusting. So it’s all about empathising with your newborn rather than getting stressed about why your newborn is hating their crib.
Baby E is currently 6 months old and I do spend a lot of time thinking back to when Little Z was this age. Reminiscing about their milestones and remembering what I was like at each stage too. I’m happy to say it’s a lot more relaxed this time round but it dawned on me….I think there may be a less known FIFTH trimester that not many people talk about. (I know, “trimester” strictly means 3 terms, but go with me).
I realised this particular trimester affects mum more than baby and there’s a whole heap of symptoms and events that emerge, all concentrated around the 3 to 6 month stage of a baby’s life.
So here goes…the lesser known fifth trimester.
The hair loss – Why oh why does this happen? You completely forget about this stage until it happens again. You think back to a YouTube video you did and how you look like you’re wearing a wig slightly too big for your head! You now look like you may be going bald. And Baby E keeps trying to pull out what’s left with both of his little fat fists!
The Zombieness – At this stage of a baby’s life you’ve already been lured into and come through the “Ooh he is sleeping through, isn’t this wonderful?” phase and smacked straight into the “Oh crap, he’s started teething phase and forgotten how to sleep” phase. Your eye bags look like little hot air balloons and you look about a 100 years old. And a bit grey, even with brown skin.
You become an OAP magnet – Or, rather, your baby does. You find little old ladies popping out from everywhere to stroke and chat to your amused baby. They are like quick little ninjas. Nowhere to be seen one second and up close the next. You spend a lot of time jumping out of your skin.
The super fast greying phase – Each time you glance at yourself in the mirror, you notice more hair going grey right before your eyes. And it’s all the new hair across your hair line that’s now trying to make up for your luscious locks falling out. You wonder if you’re going to rock the grey look fashionably (like Storm, from X-Men) and realise the texture is changing too so you’re going to look more like Doc Brown from Back to the Future. Great Scott!
You weld a hat to your head – See above.
You practically move into your doctors surgery – You find different things are aching or stiffening up constantly and wonder if your body is having a full on protest after being pregnant for so long. You find yourself at your surgery every other week, either for yourself or your baby. You hope your baby with his old mans cough doesn’t start bouncing about happily once you’re in the GP’s room. Of course, that’s exactly what he does.
Exercise – You start at least thinking about losing some of the baby weight and put on the Insanity DVD on to see what you need to do. You realise you will probably die even after doing the fitness test. You start with the 5 minute Abs app on your phone. Then sleep for two hours.
Pregnancy brain – You still forget what the heck you were talking about mid-sentence or just keep repeating the same conversation over and over. Your husband has clicked second time round and humours you. It’s like your very own version of The Truman show.
Seeing a new newborn – Ahhh the cuteness. You revel in how utterly adorable and tiny they are, how humans can produce such an amazing miracle. With cute whale socks no less. You wonder if a 3rd may be doable. Who needs hair, right?