A year has flown by and I go back to work in just over a week. I had a big think this year on my “year off”. Did I really want to go back? Did I want to explore doing blogging full time? Is there anything else I could do? There’s nothing like stepping back from your busy non stop work life to make you suddenly think about what it is you might really want to do. It turns out, for all the moaning about early get ups and working extra days, I do really like my job. I don’t want to give it up and do something else. I love the people and the nature of it and I love what I bring to it. Its not always easy and it’s not always fun, but when it comes down to it, I like it too much to stop. I’ve realised I’m happy going back to it. Part time of course. I think I might collapse with all the juggling if attempted to go back full time.
And whilst I love my blog, I don’t think I could do it full time. As any blogger knows, it’s not as easy as it looks. The behind the scenes work can be immense and detailed and it takes a lot of self motivation at times to keep going. I really really enjoy writing and I love my blog to bits, even when it’s plummeting in the ranks. Those times test you a bit, when you don’t think it’s going so well. It’s when some will give up with it and let it slide further. I’ve learnt to let go of ranks a bit this year and blog for the love of it. Blogging with a new baby is hard and blogging whilst entertaining two kids is a wee bit challenging. So you either ignore your kids a bit or ignore your blog a bit. I’ve probably ignored my blog more than my kids and accepted I can’t fire from all cylinders sometimes. And weirdly, it’s a year I got given some of my most favourite opportunities to date. Huh.
My most daunting thing about going back to work is juggling it all. I have it all planned meticulously in my head. We have my family, the Other Halfs family and breakfast club to help tackle the school runs and childcare. I’m very lucky to have both sides of the family willing to take the boys. There will be long days and easier days. There will be days the Other Half will work from home and there will hopefully be days when I get to work from home. It’s half theoretical right now and I know I need to go back at least a few weeks before I know if it’s all working. Then there may be some more tweaks and more safety nets all over the place. I’ve realised working parents are not jugglers at all. They’re trapeze artists, throwing themselves about through thin air, catching the next swing perfectly, relying on those safety nets when they miss, catching the next trapeze artist, if needed, with perfect timing and finishing with an excess of somersaults and landing with a clean finish. If I can do all of that, plus daily year 1 spellings and reading, and not cry then I’ll be a very happy girl, even with rubbish somersaults and a landing on my bum. As long as there’s hot tea in there somewhere. Please be kind, the next chapter.