The “This is my life” moment

It’s been a busy few weeks with going back to work and finding a new routine but I think we are getting there and I’m feeling like we have a new normal again. A few months ago I had a major panic about how I would juggle it all and was convinced i wouldn’t be able to do it. A very wise person talked me through it and assured me that once I was in the swing of things, it would all be fine. There are definitely days where it’s gone wrong. Two little kids that don’t quite understand timeliness just yet is bound to do that sometimes, but i think I owe that very wise person some chocolates and a hug.

I’ve also had a huge “Oh shit, this is my life!” clap of thunder moment this week. I think it’s been slowly creeping up if I’m honest and it finally hit me that this…is…it. Remember when you were a teen and wondered where your life was going? It was all a huge mystery and my friend would say how she’d love a sneaky peek at her book of life to see who she would end up with, what life would be like, what she’d be when she grew up. I’ve realised that this is it. My life. It’s both a bit shocking in a good way and shocking in an unnerving way. I know I’m very lucky to have got this far but I don’t know what comes after the “conventional” milestones. Do we now just decide what we want to do of our own accord? And do people just wing it from here on in? Is this what’s known as a midlife crisis? Just to put it out there…I’m far too young for one yet (*cough*), but I can imagine this is what one would feel like. I think work may have triggered this pondering slightly when i was asked how I’d like to progress in my career and I just looked a bit blank because I’m not quite sure. After a year of intense maternity leave I suddenly have a tiny bit of time to think about myself and I don’t know where to start.

I do know I want to see lots more of the world at least, and with that in mind we are jetting off for some winter half term sun to Abu Dhabi. I was very tempted by Barcelona but we looked a bit more afield for some warmer weather, and then even more afield, until we ended up booking a holiday 8 whole hours away, with a baby. Eeeek. The Other Half talked me into it after promising to look after our super inquisitive 1 year old for the entire flight. I’ve so far reminded him of this about 13 times. We’ve armed ourselves with an iPad full of Mr Tumble though and we are hoping for the best. Pray for us.

In the meantime, we’ve been enjoying walks and looking at all the pretty colours watching the bossy ducks who follow us for food. Z keeps wanting to take all the leaves home. I have a boot full of them now and feel a bit like a weird thief, stealing from all our local parks. We found a secret conkers tree the other day and collected loads. At least, I think it’s a secret tree as it’s got such a good stash of them at this late stage of autumn. I think this season might be starting to win me over.











  1. Rachel @ The Ordinary Lovely October 29, 2016 / 7:54 pm

    If this is it, then it’s not too shabby, is it?! Now, you kind of have to sit back and enjoy everything … like far flung family holidays!! Have the best time xx

  2. Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) October 30, 2016 / 12:13 am

    Love all the autumn colours in your photos! I think those “this is it” moments always take us by surprise and make us think more about what we want – my approach is just to wing it for now I think! Hope you have a wonderful time in Abu Dhabi and hope that the flight goes well – Mr Tumble on the iPad sounds like a very good plan! 🙂
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  3. Melody October 30, 2016 / 12:13 am

    Beautiful sets of photos. Thanks goodness, we’re not the only one with boot full of autumn leaves. lol

    • Notmyyearoff November 4, 2016 / 4:20 am

      Hehe we’ve come away on holiday so I think the bag of leaves has now been in my boot for over a week!

  4. Coombemill October 30, 2016 / 12:14 am

    Gorgeous photos, what wonderful scenery you have and perfect autumn colours. Definitely too young for a midlife crises but a little space to evaluate life is never a bad thing.
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  5. Tracey Williams October 30, 2016 / 12:23 am

    Love your pictures Tas, and I think it’s probably normal to feel like this after going back to work after 12 months. And agree you are far too young for a midlife crisis. Have an amazing half term break and catching up with your friend. I would go and sit in first class after your husband has promised to look after E, he he x
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  6. Tara October 30, 2016 / 6:07 am

    Really gorgeous pics, the colours are so vivid. I think you have a lot more years before you can claim a midlife crisis (then you can buy an open topped sports car and all will be well again) 🙂
    Tara recently posted…My Sunday Photo – Week 43.My Profile

  7. John Adams October 30, 2016 / 6:32 am

    Great images. I love the picture of mushrooms in particular. Our kids also want to bring all the leaves home, though I’m not sure why. As for the midlife crisis, don’t bother. I had one at 19 and swore I’d never have another!
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  8. Sarah MumofThree World October 30, 2016 / 7:24 am

    Gorgeous autumn photos!
    I think I had similar thoughts when I went back to work after my daughter. When you’re married, you’ve got a job and you’ve finished having babies, there’s a lot of life still left to live and, in some ways, not that much to look forward to. It’s just reality – nothing big is going to happen. Luckily kids keep growing and changing and throwing lots of spanners in the works, so life is never boring!
    Have a lovely holiday and I really hope the OH looks after the baby for the whole flight!
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    • Notmyyearoff November 4, 2016 / 4:25 am

      I like that life is never boring. So many people have said they went through the same thing so I’m glad it’s a very normal feeling to have!
      Notmyyearoff recently posted…The “This is my life” momentMy Profile

  9. Martyn October 30, 2016 / 2:07 pm

    Such beautiful autumnal photos! Captured all the colours and warmth in what is a cold time #mysundayphoto
    Martyn recently posted…My Sunday Photo 30/10/16My Profile

  10. A Patchwork Life October 31, 2016 / 11:28 am

    Love your mushroom shot, they’re strangely beautiful. Really noticing them at the moment.

    The way you’re feeling sounds so familiar. In fact, still get that unsettling, is this it? feeling, and I’m definitely the right age for a midlife crisis! But try to use it positively now, like a challenge, to push me out of my comfort zone. Occasionally works! Hope you have a wonderful holiday. Good time to reflect when you’re away from home x
    A Patchwork Life recently posted…Bad timing… Sunday photoMy Profile

    • Notmyyearoff November 4, 2016 / 4:31 am

      They really are aren’t they? I keep finding random little magical looking clusters of them! I like the idea of new challenges. I think I need to find one!
      Notmyyearoff recently posted…The “This is my life” momentMy Profile

  11. Hayley @hayleyfromhome November 2, 2016 / 12:58 pm

    Love these photos and I’m glad to hear you’re coming round to Autumn, it’s the best 😉 I’m loving seeing your photos from your holiday on IG and yes it is very brave to do that flight with them both but you are seasoned travellers now so might as well make the most of it! Haha, I love you’re this is my life moment…I’m not sure I’m there yet as at some point I will have to go back to work and find a career which is much more daunting!! Hope you have a great holiday Tas xx
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    • Notmyyearoff November 4, 2016 / 4:33 am

      Thanks so much Hayley :). We were lucky on the flight here and we’re hoping it’s the same going home. I want to stay a few extra days though!! 🙂
      Notmyyearoff recently posted…The “This is my life” momentMy Profile

  12. Natalie November 3, 2016 / 5:09 pm

    I often have moments like this- I guess thats why I’m having another baby if that makes sense. Although I can’t carry having babies forever! One day il have to figure out what’s our there for me…..just not yet!! Autumn is just beautiful. Hope your having a lovely holiday xxx
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  13. Sarah Christie November 5, 2016 / 9:02 pm

    Tas I LOVE this post I often think if I could have peeked to my life as it is, or was over the last 20 years as a teen I would have been happy and excited. If I had seen as a newly wed my life now I would have been thrilled and not worried as much about life, etc. Go with the flow beautiful, life evolves as the kids grow, I cant wait to read about you trip too x
    Sarah Christie recently posted…A Quick Catch Up, My Weekly Round UpMy Profile

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