Dear Toddler – 2 Years and 2 Months

Hello Toddler,

The snow has finally gone. Hurrah! And you finally had your two year check last week. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so quiet. Ever! You literally clamped your mouth shut and stared at the “Auntie” (you named her that!) whilst she made you play with games to test your co-ordination, which was all fine thankfully. She had a hard time trying to give her all the games back though. Eventually you got excited about the “babbit” in her farmyard book and said you were doing just fine. Phew!!

It is funny what you say now, you speak in 3 – 4 word sentences and say some very funny things. You’ve also discovered imagination which is very cute…but slightly frustrating when you offer all your dinner to your little cousin A who isn’t even here at the time. “A wants it!” Oh really? Hmmm!

It was valentines day last week and your daddy brought home a nice little bouquet. I never got to touch it once as you declared it “Mine!!” and “Look! Fiyawars!”. It came in a little cute carry bag so you spent the evening carrying it around the room and letting me glance at it once in a while. I wasn’t allowed to touch it but you did ask if I “want some?”, then broke off a petal and handed it to me very generously.

Maybe next year I’ll get to touch them?

Passport Photos

Oct9

I’ve been wanting to go on holiday abroad for absolutely ages, I think pretty much since Little Z was about 6 months old. The OH hasn’t been so keen though and wanted to wait till he was about 1.

So we waited.

I nagged and then we waited some more.

Till the day came when he relented when Z was about 14 months ish. My nagging needs a bit more work I think.

The balls been in my court ever since and, to be secretly honest, I suddenly got cold feet. How would we cope on a long flight? What if he got sick? What about milk? And I’ve kind of just dawdled over the last few months and done not very much about it. Then it hit me…. He turns 2 in December. That’s when we start to pay extra.

Arrrrgh!
Must…Go….Now!!

Ok, cost is not the only reason but it would save us a fair bit to go before December!

So the race is on. Which means I had to do what I’ve been dreading for a while.

Take Z to a Photobooth to get his passport photos done.

Who the hell makes these things? I’m pretty sure they’ve gone the way of everything else in this world (Curly Wurlys, Cadburys Creme Eggs, Monster Munch) and are now much smaller than they used to be, even for one person. Trying to get an adult and a wriggly toddler in there renders the privacy curtain a bit useless. You might just about get it shut but you end up flapping it constantly as you try to just turn around. Probably good entertainment for passerby.

It’s no wonder Little Z screamed his head off with “Noooooooo!” as soon as we entered it.

I spun the seat around both clockwise and anticlockwise for about 5 minutes trying to get it to its highest point so that Little Z could be the right position. I eventually realised it just doesn’t go up high enough. So more spinning later the seat thing is at the right height for him to stand on. Except he doesn’t want to stand. He wants to cling to me and play with all the buttons in front of him. Uh oh.

I stick in my fiver (FIVE quid for passport photos??! Bloody government) and we select the right option. I have a genius plan. I will let him cling to me, click my fingers in front of him a lot till he looks straight ahead, then take the photo whilst simultaneously jumping out of shot.

(The hubby earlier on suggested I take him to a professional photographer but they are even more extortionate than these robbing photobooths. I know what I am doing, obviously).

So…ready….click fingers rapidly…Little Z looks up…press button….jump out of shot!!

…and nothing. Eh??! Little Z starts to pull me back and…

*Click!!*

The stupid machine has a delay on it. Arrrrrgh!! Hmmmm…maybe the passport agency will accept him looking down yes?

Fortunately we have two more attempts. Z starts to get more and more frazzled and wants to go outside to see the “Wain!” (Rain!) and I unsuccessfully try to persuade him that having his picture taken with no smiling and his mouth shut whilst looking straight ahead is much more fun.

We end up fudging the second attempt up and I start admitting defeat and looking around for a refund button. Oh. There isn’t one. Bloody government.

Our last valiant attempt resulted in me jumping out of shot quickly, Z trying to follow suit and us both being greeted (embarrassingly by a queue of 2 others waiting). We manage to get a sideways frowny photo of Little Z with one side of my face in it. Success. Not!

We then have to stand with the queue waiting for our photos to come out and do that drying thing before you can pick them up. Little Z is not phased in the slightest and waves bye bye to them as we scurry away.

Then yesterday the hubby drove us to his friends photography studio. It took him about 3 minutes in total and cost us £3.50.

Hmmm.

Dearest 21 Month Old

Sep27

Hello Baby!

I know I should be calling you a Toddler now and I will. Eventually! I forever seem to be in a permanent state of mother denial about how fast you’re growing up.

So, what have you been up to? I’m pretty sure you’re going through a growth spurt. You seem to have got taller suddenly. I’m not sure how you manage to do with eating so little but you don’t care. You’re in your own little playful bubble running around playing and climbing things all day long.

You absolutely adore singing and want everyone to join in. You’ll instantly point out anyone that’s not participating and stare them into submission. That’s some power! It was very funny watching you point at one of your uncles because of point blank refused to do wheels on the bus. You just used your pointing power and patiently stared with steely determination until he meekly started mumbling the words and doing the “swish swish” motion of “the wipers on the bus”.

You have discovered how to stand on the very top of the sofa and reach the light switch. I think my heart has decided to just live in my mouth now and my improved super reflexes would probably qualify me to join the Avengers. You try to walk across the top when you’re feeling particularly brave whilst cheekily laughing at the same time. I think we’re going to have to invest in a massive indoor climbing wall of some sort just to keep you away from scaling the walls.

We’re on our way to the MAD awards today and stuck in a lot of traffic so it’s a good time for me to write this. Your Daddy and I love London and used to go down every other month before you were born and usually spend our time going shopping, eating out and going to the theatre. This is the first time we’re going after you’ve arrived and it feels very very different. I’m not sure where we’re going to find a massive field where you can just run around!

Dearest 20 Month Old

Aug27

Hello My Little Man,

I actually had to count how old you were before writing this post because I’m still very much in denial and telling everyone you are “One and a Half”. Can you believe you’ll be 2 years old in 4 months time?!

It’s been a completely mad month for us all. Both your Daddy and I have been fasting all month and then it was eid. I have to admit I was worried how I’d cope now that you run like the wind and play all day (on top of work) but it wasn’t too bad! You’ve loved trying new foods and we’ve discovered you actually like spicy things like kebabs and Bombay mix!

You’re now counting to 10 and your favourite numbers are “WEWEN!” (7) and “TEN!!” and over the last couple of weeks you’ve turned into a little parrot repeating everything, even stuff you’re not meant to. Umm.. Like “Oh Gok!” (Oh God).

This month you’ve also discovered your love of slides. But you’d rather climb up them till you’re almost at the top. Then you fling yourself back down on your belly and come sliding down. Like a cross between a toddler stunt man and James Bond. I, on the other hand, have honed my panicked shrieks of “Noooo!” quite well. When it’s not the slide you’re climbing it’s the sofa, the radiator or the baby gate. You did try to climb up the living room door once but settled for hanging off the door handles. Its kind of broken now. I’m convinced that one day we’ll find you scaling the house or trying to shimmy up the drain pipe just so you have something to climb!

You still absolutely love running and you do it with utter commitment. Like a true athlete you concentrate on your run and only your run. No looking right or left. In your case you don’t even look forward. The other day in Trafford centre was interesting when you kept running straight into people’s legs. That didn’t put you off though. Till you wanted a bit of a break of course and wanted Daddy to carry you.

One of the funniest things you’ve learnt this month is how to “freeze” during the “Show Me Show Me your groovy moves” dance. You wiggle your bum and then suddenly freeze at the right time with your hands by your face and mouth wide open. Then you clap with delight once it’s over. I may be guilty of rewinding it multiple times just to watch you keep doing it.

And we finally went to see In the Night Garden!! It was absolutely brilliant. You joined in with every dance and clapped at everything. You even managed to sit still through at least half of it which was really impressive. You were in complete awe when we met Iggle Piggle afterwards and, whilst you wouldn’t hug him, you kept wanting to touch him and play with him. I was in complete awe too and it was almost like meeting Tom Cruise all those many years ago. Almost.

Until next time baby… Mmmmwaaah!

Naming Him

Aug17

My timeline on Twitter is currently filled with lots of pregnant ladies. There are so many it feels like there is a mini baby boom going on in my Twittersphere. All are at various stages, some are even prepared with their chosen name for their little one.

It’s reminded me of when Baby Z was born and was completely nameless. We hadn’t picked anything at all and suddenly had to get a massive crack on throwing names around whilst I was hooked up to my saline and morphine drip post my Caesarian.

I was pretty much bed bound the first couple of days and, with the curtain pulled round my little cubicle, I could only hear what the other mums were up to. There was the mum who had sneezed her baby out in about 30 seconds and wanted to go home within an hour of getting onto the ward, the mum who had just had her 3rd and sounded very determined that “this was it, no more!” and the poor girl whose mother in law seemed to be rail roadjng every decision for her, including what to name her baby.

Then there was the horrible cow.

She was diagonally opposite to me and I never got to see her. But my god could I hear her….All night…long. She seemed to not require any sleep whatsoever, despite having just given birth, and prattled on and on and on on her mobile all night long to, probably, her long suffering husband. When she didn’t have the phone on her ear she was constantly asking the midwife to have a soak in the hot tub. Or to be helped out of the hot tub. Or she would be complaining she wasn’t being given enough attention and would request to go home. Then change her mind within a couple of hours. This would go on most of the night too. By night two I was going mental. I just wanted some shut eye and the horrible cow was relentless with her ability to complain all the live long night.

Anyhoo, amongst all this the hubby and I were trying to pick out the perfect name for “Infant H” as he was temporarily labelled. After going through about a hundred I came across a name that sounded so lovely and right. I looked up the meaning and then just knew it was right; “he who God remembers”…. Ahhhhhh. This was it. Baby Z.

So it was almost decided. The hubby has a much longer acceptance process than me so I knew he had to mull it over.

That evening the horrible cow was back on the phone complaining about the midwife, life, the Bounty woman who had asked her to put her phone down because she wanted some photo taking advice and basically the universe whilst I was feeding my Infant H soon to be Baby Z. Then suddenly I heard the horrible cow say something that made me freeze for a moment.

“How about we name him Baby Z?”

What??!! She was stealing my name!! I knew they’d already picked another name the day before but the horrible cow wanted my name. Our name! I was silently livid and had half a mind to try to pick my saline stand up and try to poke her from a distance. How very dare she.

Ofcourse I didn’t. I just fumed in bed and listened to her go on and on and on about how it had a lovely meaning. Yes. A meaning you stole. Stole!!

I told the hubby as soon as he arrived in whispered rage and lots of wild gesturing. He sympathised (I think) but reasoned we may never see them again so it wouldn’t matter… Hmmm.

I needn’t have worried for long. It seems the horrible cow may have had a silent long suffering husband but he still had some fight in the old dog and veto’d the name as they were all leaving to go home with their new baby. It was that day I started walking after my op and if I was any faster I would have followed them just to get a peek at her.

Come link up to Flashback Friday!

Things I’ve Learnt about One and a Half Year Olds

Jul13

Things I’ve Learnt about One and a Half Year Olds

Baby Z seems to be developing at a rate of the speed of light. Its sometimes little things that you would miss if you didn’t look closely but then you realise things like he’s developed a sense of humour! Toddlers have a sense of humour! Did you know that? Their own unique one as well. Half mimicking what they see mixed with their own cheeky little charm. Did you know that?? I didn’t!

Then there’s the other end of the spectrum. Did you know they can quite easily have about 5 tantrums in the space of an hour? I actually vaguely heard about this but never realised you sometimes actually have to hold on tight whilst they are flinging themselves about like mini body surfers at some rock concert. I feel like we’ve officially walked through the door into Toddlerdom.

These are just some of the things I’ve learnt about Toddlers over the last few months:

They have the energy of about 10 Tiggers. As well as the happiness
They will immediately repeat something you say and possibly fake laugh too just to copy you
If they can’t they’ll quite happily make it up and babble, wanting your full attention
They will refuse all types of food and seemingly survive off about 3 strawberries and a handful of sweetcorn
A part of you reasons that they will eat when they are hungry. Another part of you (about 90%) will worry and have you chasing them with different snacks all day.
Every day you will say to your OH “He looks different today doesn’t he?”
They will demand things at the most inappropriate times threatening epic tantrum if you don’t give it. Like milk in the car whilst you’re driving.
They will drink about half (after you’ve handed it safely to him) and then bathe themselves in the rest. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
They will entertain with singing and talking for the entire journey, even at 7am
They will possibly demand you join in Twinkle Twinkle and do the flashing hands.
They have the ability to wrap Granny and Grandad around their little finger
Actually, they are the boss of everyone. The entire family is wrapped around that little finger.
They will make Granny push them around on a desk chair and scream “Weeeeee” excitedly
Granny will gladly do it for hours on end.
They will go for weeks without seemingly any further speech development.
Then they’ll amaze you one day by saying about 10 different words in succession
You will try to get them to “perform” this latest trick when at someone else’s house
This will be met by silent stare.
They can have the most spectacular looking tantrums like the world has ended. Then 10 seconds later they are fine again.
This can happen multiple times in one day.
They will attempt to climb the radiator and be happy just hanging off it if they can’t manage it
They have their OWN sense of humour.
They think its fun to jump off EVERYTHING.
They will figure how to spill from that super duper non spill cup with “lip detection technology”.
They love the word “MINE!” Used regularly when holding your phone, ipad, playstation controller, TV remote and handbag.
You are required to then chase toddler around the room whilst they scream excitedly at their game.
They have a knack for hiding the remote very well but won’t be able to locate it again which can be annoying
They can do the same with their dummy but a baby 6^th sense will track it down within minutes
They can run for hours if you let them
That still won’t make them nap on time
Not all toddlers sleep through, even at 18 months!!
They will constantly make you wonder where their amazing little personality is coming from
Some days you will think “Wow, he looks / behaves just like me”
Some days you will think “Wow, he looks / behaves just like his daddy”
Gazing at your sleeping child, even after 18 months, never gets boring

Dearest 1 and a Half Year Old

Jun18

Hello Baby!

You are officially “1 and a half”! I am mum to a 1 and a half year old, Blimmin ‘eck. Unofficially though, every time someone asks your age, I’ve been telling them you’re one and a half. It feels like you’re a proper boy now. I’m not sure I should still be calling you Baby Z now. But, you know, I still will.

It seems you’re learning how to use your imagination now. You’ve been copying people eating and drinking tea and will even make “mmmmm” noises. Then you wiggle your bum. (I think it’s becoming the norm now to wiggle your bum after everything nice). It’s so cute watching you copying everyone eating.

It’s slightly less cute that you’ve now started doing it with your real life food too. You’ll put it to your lips, make mmmmm noises and then throw it. Usually on the floor. Unless, ofcourse, it’s sweetcorn. Sweetcorn is like Baby Z gold and you’ll dart from across the room as soon as you spy a Green giant sweetcorn tin.

This month has been teething galore. In the early months I worried your teeth weren’t coming through fast enough but I take all of that back. This week you have 6 coming through all at once. It’s like they’re emerging before my very eyes and you’ve been a bit grumpy to say the least, especially at night time. PC Plum and Miss Hoolie from Balamory now regulatory join us at 2am in a bid to settle you back down again. Daddy and I usually watch zombie like praying that neither of them will come to visit in our dreams once we are all asleep again. When do you think your love of Balamory will pass? No rush. Just wondering.

We had a lovely family week a couple of weeks ago where we went to the Lake District and you had your first boat ride. I’m hoping that in a few months you’ll have your very first plane ride. How cool would that be? Daddy sounds very nervous about it but I’m sure it’ll be fine. Besides, you and Daddy can watch Balamory for a whole 5-8 hours (depending on where we go, I’ve not decided yet) on the iPad that you are trying to adopt for your own. Won’t that be fun?

You’ve been saying more words although you’ve decided that toddler speak is obviously more superior to the English language and so you’ve made up words as you see fit. It’s very cute and anyone that says you should be talking now gets an imaginary kick in my head. If you could say “mummy” to me though, and not yourself, then that would be great.

Anyway, my one and a half year old… Until next time… Mmmwah!

Dearest Baby at 16 Months!

Apr20

Hello Little Man!

16 months? That’s two months away from “18 months”!. You know? When I can say “He’s one and a half!”. That’s like saying I am the mum of a little boy, not a baby! I know I should be calling you a “Toddler” now and not “Baby Z” but that just makes you seem so grown up. I’ve been thinking I might call you “Baby Z” for a few years yet. Maybe till you start high school or something.

So what have you been doing? Well, its been a busy month with wedding galore. Your “uncle” in Leicester got married and we drove down without Daddy for 4 whole days. I had it all planned out. Packed absolutely everything I could think of and was so prepared I could have opened a baby shop from my car boot! You were absolutely great. For the first 3 hours I mean. Then it came to bedtime ad you screamed the place down. You wanted your own bed and your own daddy and nothing else would do. No amount of rocking, singing or walking around with you would work. After about two hours you decided to give in and go to sleep. I was so frazzled that I vowed I would drive back home first thing the next morning. I was half tempted to drive straight back that night but I was so knackered I fell asleep even with you sleeping almost glued to my side with your arms wrapped tightly around me to make sure I wouldn’t leave you. I woke the next morning with aches in places I didn’t know could ache. You woke up like a little chatty sweet angel, as if you were home again. You then spent the next couple of hours having a glorious time in the kitchen of the person whose house we were staying at, slamming doors, running off with pots and pans and slamming even more doors. I decided I would see how we went and we ended up having a great time at the wedding. I’ve decided though. We will never go to another wedding without Daddy. Ever.

This month you’ve also learnt a new game. Running through people’s legs. You pretty much hurtle, full throttle, towards anyone that’s standing up and then try to run through their legs. Now, for your tall Daddy, this isn’t a problem at all. But at 5 foot nothing, this is a slight problem for me. And when you do it in view of others, its slightly awkward trying to stop you. You either just try harder or will demonstrate your dramatics and swoon backwards in a majestic tantrum.

You’ve also learnt a few words (hurrah hurrah!!). You’ve started saying “Happy Birthday!” …which actually comes out “Aapeee Daaaay!” but you can spend about an hour just repeating it over and over which sounds very cute. I sometimes try to trick you into repeating “Mumeeeeee” but you will stop abruptly as if you have busted me and stare for a couple of seconds before carrying with your “Aapeee Daaaay!” chanting. You can also say “Three!” (it comes out “EEEeeeee!”) if we say “One! Two!…” This second one is really cute and we love being pushy parents and showing off these new party tricks.

If over the next month you’d like to say “mummeeee” then that would be lovely! Not that I mind being called “Daadaa!” but, you know…just, if you want to!

We took you to the zoo for the first time this month and you were so fascinated with the little monkeys. You kept touching the glass to touch them and you couldn’t take your eyes off them. You weren’t too bothered about the other animals but your Daddy had us running around the entire zoo so we wouldn’t miss any of the feeding times. Between the both of you I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a pair of excited boys. We came home completely shattered but it was a lovely day out.

You’re still fairly scared of the robot hoover but we can see you’re trying to psyche yourself up to go near it. Recently you even go right up to it and try to touch it. Once though you managed to switch it on by accident and as soon as it started moving you promptly ran away screaming. ~~That was really funny!~~

Oh, and one last thing…today I booked tickets for In the Night Garden live! I know. It’s just SOOO exciting isn’t it? It’s not till August so you’ll be a bit older by then and ~~not freak out~~ hopefully enjoy it properly. We’re even seeing Iggle Piggle afterwards!!

So, until next time baby! Mmmwah!!