Eating Out

Apr8

Eating out with Little Z can always be a hit and miss experience. There are times when he is an angel child making us feel very smug at our well behaved infant, whilst others we would like nothing better than to dart out of a restaurant with our heads down, shades on and hoods up so that no-one actually sees what we look like; screaming toddler securely clamped under one arm.

Obviously that would be weird. We are not celebrities and having a hood on indoors would just make us look slightly scary and ASBO-ish.

On our most recent family outing Little Z amused us by demonstrating his latest social skills.

Some of the most memorable were…

- How he was transfixed by the waitress taking our order. As soon as she finished he shouted for her to do it “again again!”. She laughed slightly nervously and shuffled off quickly. Little Z shouted after her till he realised she wasn’t coming back.

- Asking for a lolly when he spotted the little girl on the next table had one. (Dear restaurants, lollies scare the hell out of me. I always have scary visions of the tops coming off in a toddlers mouth. Whyyyyy do you hand them out so freely!). Cue “can I have a lolly?” constantly till we distracted him with a juice.

- Examining the desserts menu like a little grown up and declaring that he would like “the cow”.

- Being presented with a “Daisy the Cow” toy that opened up to reveal ice cream. He was not interested in the ice cream one bit. He did however throw himself into a loud rendition of “Old McDonald had a farm….and on that farm he had a cow”. I’m not sure listening to “here a moo, there a moo” 13 times was what our neighbouring diners had envisaged when planning their afternoon out.

- Myself and OH hissing “No Lollies!! No Lollies!!” at the waiter when he kindly presented us with something for Little Z whilst we paid for our meal. Luckily Little Z was distracted by his Daisy the Cow and the poor man behind the counter looked terrified as he whisked the lollies back into hiding.

- The doorman opening the door for us on our way out and presenting Little Z with a lolly.

- Telling Little Z we had lost the lolly on the way home.

I pondered as we drove home; parenting seems to become a big web of lies. Mostly about the whereabouts of sweets.

Project 52 – Week 5 / Silent Sunday

Feb2

Project 52 – Week 2 / Silent Sunday

Jan12

Little Mr Bossy Boots

Jan7

We could see it coming as he approached his second birthday. It started with full swooning tantrums on the floor, followed by cries of frustration when we said no. Then it came. Full on, and very loud…the terrible twos.

Little Z has entered the world of the terrible twos a bit earlier than I would have liked. Actually, I’m pretty sure this is one of those lies people tell you before you have kids and don’t have a clue about anything children related. I’m pretty sure the terrible twos start when they’re about 16 months or even sooner. At first you just don’t realise because you’re not looking for it. Then it slowly dawns on you. You’re in the midst of what will become the terrible twos!

I thought we were already in full flowing terrible twos and we almost had it under control. We walk away (most of the time) when he has a tantrum, both keep straight faces when trying to tell him off (most of the time) and try not to throw around the words “that’s naughty” too much.

We’ve seen a change over the last couple of weeks though. It’s like Little Z has acquired a fresh batch of feistiness. We now have ourselves a little bossy boots.

And what worked last week isn’t working this week. Uh oh.

This week a telling off will result in him chuckling back at us, or not looking at you directly in the eye, but flashing a knowing smirk at us. And saying “no” actually eggs him on to repeat it!

Our bossy boots has also turned into a shouty little man. Like a cranky lord of the manor that has no patience with his servants. No time can be wasted and everything must be done instantly.

“MILK!!!!” Is demanded loudly first thing in the morning and one must produce it within seconds. Same with “Biscuit!!” but to a lesser extent. Failure to conjure “MILK!!!!” up instantly can result in a minor meltdown. It seems the art of impatience is being honed. Either that or he thinks he is now a cranky teenager crying out at the unfairness of the world. Other demands can include and are not limited to) “Be happy soooon!!” (Get Well Soon on CBeebies), strawberries, going for a walk and giving anything he declares is “mine”. And one must comply instantly.

The little bossy boots has plenty of charm though which can be switched on instantly. “Share share” is a new favourite where all food will be shared and even placed into your mouth for you (whether you want it or not). There are hugs aplenty and he will randomly drop whatever he is doing and come and ask for one. Occasionally this means you have to put down whatever you were doing but this one i don’t mind. And my personal favourite is where he declares “it’s my mummy!!” to the other half. Of course this last one can have its slight downside when it’s only my hip he wants to glue himself to no matter what I may be doing.

So this week you will hear little bossy boots exclaim “Oh Doodness Me!” (Oh Goodness me!) as he parrots back our reaction at us whilst the OH and I hurriedly revise our parenting strategy from a huddled corner of the living room.

This is the peak of the terrible twos, yes?

What Would Little Z Do?

Jan4

In the beginning (I mean, when Little Z was a baby), I realised I’d somehow developed the worry of what felt like a million mothers rolled into one. I went from being a fairly relaxed human being to become a hand wringing stress head that would worry to the extreme at every turn in his little life. Like leaving him for the first time whilst we travelled a 10 whole miles to a shopping centre, to spend time together as a couple. I did reasonably well. 3 hours and 3 calls is not bad for the first time you leave your baby in someone else’s hands.

Or like when he went through the first surge of separation anxiety (how many of these are there by the way? It seems there are multiple. Why?!). He spent about 2 weeks attached to my hip and wouldn’t go near any adult he hadn’t seen for over 24 hours. I know now that this was a phase. But at the time, my mad mother worrying logic calculated the following:

Baby is nervous around adults and also children, which means baby doesn’t like people, which means he isn’t going to have many friends, which means he’ll be by himself in the school playground and could be picked on and bullied.
Oh my God.

Cue making a mental note to enrol him into karate classes so at least he could defend himself when he got older.

I’m pleased to say I still haven’t enrolled him. And if I now do, it’ll be because I want him to enjoy a sporting activity rather than learn to beat other children up like some kind of mini Bruce Lee.

These days I am slightly less worried about Little Z and will gladly leave him at the grandparents and run like hell to the nearest restaurant or shopping centre (I am joking, obviously). I’ve accepted the mad mother high worry levels post baby are here to stay for, probably, forever but I know I’ve relaxed a bit and mostly have a grip on them. I realised this during a slightly surreal conversation with the OH over the blissful lazy Christmas and New Year holiday period.

Our conversation placed Little Z in various hypothetical situations that we’d either spotted on telly or seen in the news.

(I have to stress here, we hadn’t left the house for a few days and all thought processes were descending into the slightly bizarre)

Have you seen the secret of Crickley Hall? Its a supernatural drama about the deranged ghost of a headmaster. There is a scene in it where he actually leans over the sleeping face of a woman and whispers that the children are “mine” in such an eery way i nearly switched it off that instant.

This would just be a red rag to Little Z though. God forbid anyone utters the word “mine!” and he will instantly let you know who is the real owner of, well, the item in question is not important. It is ALWAYS his. The message is usually enforced with a full on tantrum and swift swipe of said item in question. That mansion wouldn’t need any kind of exorcism. It just needs a Little Z type toddler to go in and declare who is in possession of anything here. Oh, and that cane is his too, thank you very much.

Second scenario to be discussed was if an eagle attempted to swipe him away (after having watched a supposed real video of an eagle doing something similar in Canada).

Now Little Z is not as fat or heavy as the toddler in the video but we know he’d be fine as he would utilise his new found weapon of choice. Biting.
Where did this come from? And why am I the prime target. He seems to like doing it in the midst of being excited mainly, and will want to dig his teeth into my arm or leg, whichever happens to be in closest proximity. There’s been a few surprised screams on my part over the last week or so. At the moment he thinks it’s hilarious. That eagle would have no chance.

There were a couple more including the boring and important one that was too scary for me to acknowledge just yet. How will Little Z cope in nursery? I know I need to put his name down soon and I know it will be ok. He’s now fairly sociable and will either hover around shyly or, if he’s feeling brave, actually run to within someone else’s comfort zone and declare a big “Hello!” then grin expectedly.

So yes! I know worry less about some things (such as eagles/ wildlife/ ghostly apparitions swiping him away) and worry more about nurseries and letting him out into the big bad world. I think this is definitely progress.

2012 – The Year of The Toddler

Dec28

2012 has been a very interesting and frustrating one all at once I think! I’d probably like to remember it as the Year of the Toddler! The year Little Z turned from a fast crawling rug rat into a fast running toddler. This year actually feels more memorable than his first year. Partly probably because its more recent but more so because this year contains some significant milestones like his first words, me going back to work, and him turning into a little boy.

I was dreading 2012. It would be the year I went back to work on a part time basis trying to juggle both work life and mummy life. Now I look back into my sieve like memory I have to admit I found it very hard trying to regain a sense of balance and belonging. Adjusting to new priorities where it wasn’t all about me. I think I was pretty naive to be honest. I expected to pick up where I had left off because time would freeze, for me. I adjusted, thankfully, with a little help from my work friends telling me to “shut that laptop!!” as I worked to catch up in the evenings and I became very grateful I am able to work part time. It may not last forever but its something that’s helped us no end.

One of my highlights of January was getting my new work car. Brand spanking new and a very enjoyable little ride. Little Z didn’t seem to think the same and let me know his views when he decided to throw up ( a lot!) in my 2 week old motor. I can’t remember the last time my OH laughed so much.

One thing I’ll always hate about going back to work is the Bloody Early Starts! I think we’ve honed the routine of getting out of the house on time now, but back in February we were still pretty much falling over each others feet. Mind you, we do still have the odd day like this.

Little Z was now running by this stage and had apparently forgotten how to calmly walk anywhere. Even now its as if he is trying to escape. Constantly!! He had friendevous and started going through separation anxiety. I think it was at this stage I made a mental note to enrol him into karate classes Being a mad mother I was afraid the separation anxiety meant he was afraid of the world and all within it. And if that WAS the case then how would he defend himself in the play ground when he was 5? Cue worry…and oh nooooooooo! Obviously I don’t think that now (Ok, sometimes). Unfortunately, March was the month he got quite a bad bug. Enough for me to have a moan about it and go slightly delirious about the whole thing comparing it to the Olympics. I still remember it well. Viral Bastard!

April was a big month in our family as one of my cousins got married. I was going solo for a few days as the OH wasn’t coming and I was worried about How to go to a wedding with a one year old. It was mayhem. It was mental. There was screaming, and car accidents. It was a lot of fun! I swear I will NEVER go to another wedding without the husband though.

We spent a lot of May running in the Sunshine in the park that is literally opposite my house that we hadn’t ventured to previously. Its now one of our favourite places to go as soon as Little Z wants to “go for a walk”. I also spent a lot of time trying to teach Z Who’s the Mummy. It didn’t go too well. There was also more weddings, this time with Michael Jackson. And it was the month we had to put our robot hoover into a protection scheme and I found out I was a finalist in the MAD Awards for best new blog, hurrah!! It was a busy month!

June was the month I became mum to a 1 and a Half Year Old. It was also Britmums live, and the first time I met so many other bloggers, some of whom I’d been talking to for over a year. It was manic and overwhelming at times but so good to finally meet people in real life. Which reminds me, I need to book my ticket for next year!!

Little Z turning 18 months was a massive milestone in my head because, to me, that’s when he suddenly turned into a toddler. I’m pretty sure he “technically” reached that phase way before then but its when I properly noticed he wasn’t really a baby any more. So I wrote Things I’ve Learned About a One and Half Year Old.

Over the summer of 2012 Little Z started learning new words, some good, some bad, and some that sounded remarkably like PISS. I know its childish but this still makes me laugh. He also learnt to be defiant this month. Its when I discovered how clever toddlers can be.

I also started stressing about how fussy an eater he was becoming. He’s slightly better now but god can he frustrate me with his eating habits.

The day came when we finally ventured to London for the MADs finals. I didn’t win but I had a fantastic time and met so many people. And we realised taking a toddler to London was actually enjoyable (mostly!). I also eventually discovered the rules of being a toddler.

November was a month I was very much looking forward to because we were going on holiday!!! Our first abroad since Little Z had arrived. I was very excited about some proper sun but not to excited about letting a toddler loose on a plane. We did have a fantastic time and Little Z particularly enjoyed talking to the “feesh” on a daily basis.

And last but not least, December brought Little Z’s 2nd birthday. I was thankfully not dreading his birthday this year and I realised that watching him grow up over the last 2 years and reach his toddler milestones has made me just look forward to the next year. It has been bloody hard at times and that’s what a good cry and cake is for but it has been good too in equal measure.

And that was 2012. The year of the Toddler.

2012

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Project 52 – Week 45 / Silent Sunday

Nov10

Next Time

Oct29

Little Z will be turning 2 in December and we are now starting to mull over whether it is “the right time” to have another baby. The answers lie on a very extreme spectrum of “Yes yes it is!” all the way to “No no its not!”.

There are plenty of things we are working through in our heads. Or, rather, things I am pestering the OH about. How will we balance two? Will we manage? What if it’s really hard? What about work? And sleep? And childcare? And sleep? Do we need a bigger house? And what about sleep?

What I DO know is that the second time is slightly easier in some respects because of the experience with the first. I know this because someone on Twitter said so and this is now my 2nd baby mantra. When the time comes I mean.

So, in keeping with my 2nd baby mantra, one day, in the future, these are the things will make it easier next time around:

Next time I know that labour may be long. Very very very long. Very very long.

Next time I will use the buzz thingie on my TENs machine a lot more. I may just keep it on buzz throughout.

Next time I wont be shocked at what meconium looks like. (“But it’s so sticky!!”)

Next Time I will know how to change a nappy and give baby it’s first bath. I won’t hover behind the care assistant nervously.

Next Time I know the baby won’t sleep through at 6 weeks old

Next Time I will be strong enough to tell interfering parenting police to sod off (sort off. Mostly!)

Next Time I may even duck and hide of the parenting police come round to visit. Obviously I need to train Little Z to do this too.

Next Time I will fill my freezers with meals and save myself panicking about “what will we eat?!!!” post baby for the first few weeks

Next Time I will not stress that I am feeding baby all wrong.

Next Time I won’t panic every time the baby cries.

Next Time I will try not to obsess with getting baby “into a routine”. Little Z eventually fell into one.