The one thing that protects our washing machine from countless Baby Z bashing is our hoover. The small robot Hoover was promoted to Guard Dog status once we figured out this little gem. A new relationship flourished between the washing machine and hoover from these foundations (mostly one of silence and standing still in one place) and laundry peace was restored.
Baby Z mostly hovered around the protector and protectee whilst he calculated his next move. Fear of the dust sucking appliance was the only thing coming between him and his friend. But fear of a dust sucking appliance was his Everest.
Then one day…(last week), this…
Oh bloody hell. His new obsession is now the poor Guard Dog. He can spend hours just switching it on and then laughing as it bounces into walls as it warily and obediently carries on hoovering. His fear is no more. He will even mock it by mimicking it. Nooooooo! We need something he is scared of to guard our appliances.
Then it came to me.
In Baby Z’s world, my (almost) 3 year old niece is like the Godfather. He is in awe of her, completely respects anything she does and can’t really understand what she is saying. She is his mentor and the one he wants to be like. In return she will praise him with a loud “Goog BOY Baby Jaja!!” when he does something good and loves him because he is family. He would follow around till the end of any mission (usually nap time) and she will provide pieces of golden wisdom including “eat properly Jaja!!”. It’s the perfect balance of love, protection and, most importantly, obedience.
I wonder if my brother will let me borrow her to protect stuff in our kitchen.
And the Hoover? The Guard Dog is now in a protection programme which mostly consists of sitting on the window sill.